


Walk-In

by silenceisdeafening



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Age Play, Age Play Caregiver Light Yagami, Age Play Little L (Death Note), Age Regression/De-Aging, Alive L (Death Note), Autistic L (Death Note), Bed-Wetting, Blackmail, Corporal Punishment, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute L (Death Note), Diapers, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, He gets better, Honestly how has Pacifiers not been marked as a common tag???, Humiliation, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I do not understand, I don't like her, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, L Has Feelings (Death Note), L Needs a Hug (Death Note), L is Bad at Feelings, L is a Little Shit (Death Note), Light is not Good, M/M, Mind Games, Misa is a Bitch, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Submission, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pacifiers, Protective Yagami Light, Sick Character, Sickfic, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy L is Best L, Spanking, Stuffed Toys, Submissive L (Death Note), Teddy Bears, Thumb-sucking, Wetting, Yagami Light is Kira, Yagami Light is a Little Shit, at least at first, bottles, but he is trying, there are 46 pages of stories with the tag Pacifiers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27652133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silenceisdeafening/pseuds/silenceisdeafening
Summary: Light finds out that L uses age regression as a way to cope with stress. Light uses this information to humiliate and blackmail L. But what happens when Light starts to like taking care of L, and L likes it when Light takes care of him.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 83
Kudos: 333





	1. Little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light finds out L is a little.

L sighed relief as the Kira Task Force members left the hotel room. The past week had been stressful, with Watari leaving midway through the week because of issues at Wammy’s and the emergence of a second Kira. He needed to regress so bad. He could feel the pull in the back of his mind, and the thoughts of his stuffies and diapers and his pacifier and watching cartoons had been distracting today. So distracting that even Matsuda noticed his odd behavior and asked if he was okay. L, of course, had said that he was fine and demanded that Matsuda get back to work. 

Now that he was alone, L saved all the work on his laptop and put it on a charge. He rushed to his room in the hotel. He closed the door but was too excited to regress that he did not lock the door. He was alone, anyway. L quickly walked over to the closet. The closet housed a couple of sweaters that did not look too “babyish,” and a couple of sweatpants, and a pair of leggings. 

L picked his dinosaur sweater. He wanted to be a dinosaur! It was light blue with a picture of a green t-rex. The sleeves, hood, and down the back had fabric spikes. There was also a pouch that L kept his pacifier in when it was not in his mouth or on his pacifier clip. He did not want to lose his only pacifier. He loved it. 

Speaking of his pacifier, L turned toward his safe, where he kept his move “babish” items. He tapped in his passcode 5011933*. L reached into his safe and pulled out his green pacifier. The button of the pacifier said, “mute button.” He stuck the pacifier in his mouth and suckled. L felt himself start to slip. As much as he did not want to, he knew that he had to fight it just a little longer to get dressed.

L knew that he was going to regress very “young” tonight and would need a diaper. He didn’t want to have an accident. So, he pulled out one of his few diapers. He would need to order some more, but that was a big boy L thing to do. Right now, L just wanted to be little. 

The boy then took off his pants and boxers then layed down. L suckled his pacifier a little harder as he concentrated on taping his diaper on his hips so that it fit snuggly. No leaks. L stood up, needing to stand with his legs a little further apart. The boy smiled when he heard the crinkle; it made him feel so tiny. L then took off his shirt, struggling slightly because his limbs were starting to feel clumsy and awkward. He was able to get his shirt off and threw it toward the hamper. The boy put on his dinosaur sweater. 

“Rawr,” L giggled once he successfully put on his sweater. 

“Sakura,” the baby called, taking out his panda bear teddy along with his fuzzy dinosaur blankie. He had her since he was a small child, and Watari gave him the panda. She was his bestest friend ever. He loved her. 

“Sowwy no cuddles,” L apologized, holding her close to his chest. He had not been able to regress for weeks, so he was not able to cuddle with Sakura for those weeks. He did not like that and wanted to snuggle with her forever. 

“Wets gets miwkies, Sakura,” L said, taking his bottle out of his safe. He then waddled toward the mini-fridge and placed Sakura and his blanket on top of it. The baby pulled out chocolate milk and carefully poured it into his bottle. No matter how careful L was, he accidentally spilled a couple of drops onto the counter. 

“Oh no,” L mumbled. He first put away the chocolate milk and screwed the lid onto his bottle before he waddled to the bathroom and got a washcloth to clean up his mess. 

“Alw done,” L mumbled, throwing the washcloth toward the hamper. 

“Does Sakura wanna watch ‘toons?” L asked. He held the bear to his ear, “yeah!” L exclaimed. 

“Wets build a nest,” L suggested. He left his bottle on the counter to retrieve after he was down building his nest. He picked up Sakura and walked over to the bed. He unmade the bed, throwing the pillows on the floor and pulling the comforter and thin sheet off of the bed. He placed Sakura on the bed so that she could watch. 

The baby got couch cushions off of the couch in the room and brought them to a corner of the room. He placed two of them on the floor and one against the wall. That would make a good foundation. He then took the thin sheet and placed it on the foundation. L put the pillows from the bed on the sheet. He put a couple of the pillows where he would put his head. He put the others around the border. 

L hummed thoughtfully and suckled on his pacifier harder. He wanted more pillows and blankies, but there were no more pillows or blankies in his room. So, he would have to leave his room. That thought made his tummy twist with anxiety. He did not like to leave this room (or any room he deemed as his) when he was a baby. No one was supposed to know that he had this side to him. But no one but L was in the hotel room; not even Watari was here right now. L was all alone, so it should be safe to leave his room to get more pillows and blankies.

So, L left the room, looking down the hall nervously. He quickly gathered multiple pillows and blankies and rushed back to his room. He closed his door. 

“Gots mowe piwwows and bwankies,” L told Sakura as he walked over to his nest. He dropped his supplies. He took several of the pillows and placed them in his nest. He took the comforter from off of his bed and put it on top of the pillows and tucked it under the couch cushions on the floor. He took several blankets and layered them on top of each other, leaving the fuzzy ones on the top. He loved fuzzy blankies!

“Alw done!” L exclaimed, clapping and taking his panda bear and placing her on the nest, “wait, hewe. I gets baba and bwankie and waptop.”

L did as he promised. He laid down on his blankie nest, covering himself with his dinosaur blankie and curling up into a ball. He snuggled with Sakura and said, “we watches Guppies,” L said, turning on his favorite cartoon. 

He took out his pacifier, placing it on the pillow. He placed the nipple of his bottle in his mouth and suckled. He hummed as the sweetness of the chocolate milk hit his tongue. He loved it. 

L drank from his bottle until it was all gone. L whined and pouted when his milk was all gone. He did not want it to be all gone, but he also did not want to leave his nest of warmth and comfort. So, he set his bottle aside on the floor to fill later when he got thirsty. 

The baby put his pacifier in his mouth and snuggled Sakura a little tighter. He looked at the bright fishies on his screen, giggling when they did something silly (and they were very silly) and singing along to their songs. It was the bestest time ever! He never ever wanted to leave his room or even his nest, but he would need to tomorrow. Knowing this, he enjoyed it while he could. 

…

“God damnit,” Light muttered to himself, feeling his pockets. His phone was not there. He must have left it in the hotel room. The man sighed. 

“What’s wrong, Light?” his father asked, an eyebrow raised at his son’s language. 

“I think I forgot my phone in the hotel room,” Light explained.

“That’s not like you.” 

“I know,” Light muttered, not wanting to hear it. He had enough pressure on him from L that he did not need it from anyone else. “Can I take the spare car and go get it, please?” 

“Go ahead, but come right back,” his father said, handing him the keys to the spare car. Light gave his thanks and left the house.

“Hey, hey Light-o, can I drive?” Ryuk asked, flying next to the car. 

“Notta chance,” Light said with a smirk. There was no way in Hell he was going to risk a Shinigami crashing his parent’s car. Light rolled up the window when Ryuk started whining.

While he was driving to the hotel, his thoughts drifted to L, as they did often since he killed Lind L. Tailor, but today his thoughts went to L’s strange behavior. Well, L was always strange with his sitting position, constant eating of sweets, refusal to wear anything but a long-sleeve white shirt and baggy blue jeans, biting his nails, lack of social skills, and plain rudeness. Today, however, L was not acting like L. He was incredibly distractible all day, which he was usually the exact opposite of. L was able to sit for hours in the same position and work because of his hyperfocus. The older man even stared out of the widow, and Aizawa yelled at him because of it. L had looked upset about getting yelled at (Light is pretty sure that he is the only one that noticed). Light smirked as he remembered the sad face. It was nice to know that something could make L show emotion. But it was still strange, Aizawa had yelled at him several times, and L never showed an ounce of emotion toward it before. He just ignored it. Why was he upset by it now? 

Light shook his head. That did not matter. All Light needed was information that would lead to L’s real name so that he could write it down. Light smirked as he thought of the smaller man dying. Once he had L out of the way, he would have the world. 

Light pulled up to the hotel and ran up to the room. Hopefully, he could get in and out without too many words with L. 

“Ryuzaki,” Light shouted into the hotel room. L was nowhere in sight, but Light kept talking, assuming that L went to go get cake, “I forgot my phone. Ah, here it is,” Light picked his phone up and put it in his back pocket. 

He still received no answer from L, which was strange to him. He expected at least a response back, if not a couple of teases about forgetting his phone, “Ryuzaki?” Light questioned, “must be asleep,” for once. 

Light was about to turn his back and walk out of the room when he noticed that the room looked different. It took a second to realize that it was because several of the blankets and pillows that were always in the same place every day were missing. Light had questions appear in his mind again. L had an insistence on sameness and never changed his behavior unless absolutely necessary. So, why was he changing so much in one day? It was so strange. What could his motives be? Was he trying to throw Light off somehow? Well, if that was his goal, Light was not going to let him. 

Just as he turned his back to leave, he heard a giggle. Light paused, then heard it again. It was coming from a room down the hall. 

“Please tell me you heard that too,” Light said, looking at Ryuk, who had been following him the whole time. 

“Yep,” Ryku said, “sounds like a kid.” 

Light nodded in agreement. He walked toward the room where he heard the giggling. He stopped outside the room and put an ear on the door. He heard muffled, cheery, high pitched voices that could only be from a child's show. They were singing about… lunch. Did L have a kid in the hotel? If he did, where in the world was L?

Light slowly opened the door, as to not scare the kid if L did have a kid. When Light looked inside the room, he saw that it was not a kid at all, but L. 

L was under a blanket with dinosaurs all over it and had a pacifier in his mouth and a stuffed panda bear and was watching a children's show with a smile and looked happy. What in the world was going on? Light opened the door a little more. 

L noticed more light coming into the room. His eyes widened, and he tensed. Someone found him. L whimpered. He did not want to look over. Maybe if he stayed very, very still whoever was there would go bye-bye. 

"Ryuzaki," L recognized that voice. It was Light. L sat up. He snapped out of his regressed mindstate, but he was not quite in his adult headspace. He was somewhere in between. It was an odd headspace to be in, but he could not be little around Light. 

"Ryuzaki, what's going on? What are you doing?" Light asked as he walked into the room slightly. He kept his voice calm, quiet, and a somewhat higher-pitched voice that one would use with a child. 

L did not say anything but took the pacifier out of his mouth, stuffed it under the pillow, and closed the laptop. He brought his knees to his chest, covering his diaper area with his blankie. 

"Hey, don't hide from me," Light said in the same voice. 

L made a face at the voice. He was not sure what emotions ran through him; there were too many. 

"Go away, Light," L demanded through gritted teeth. 

'Oh, getting angry, are we?' Light thought, trying (and succeeding) to not smirk. 

"I just want to know what is going on. I mean, I knew you were strange, Ryuzaki, but not this strange," Light told him, walking closer. 

"I don't owe you an explanation!" L shouted, tears clouding his vision, "go away!" 

L knew that he should not be letting himself get this emotional. But he was just ripped from his headspace, which already made him emotional, and was not entirely an adult yet, and Light was being mean to him. He wanted Light to go away forever and leave him alone. 

"Hey, hey," Light said in a soothing voice, though he was reveling in the tears in L's eyes, "there's no need to shout."

L knew that if it were anyone else, specifically Watari, speaking to him in that tone right now in the mindset he was in, it would have been comforting. But not from Light. Light was Kira. They were enemies. Light would probably use this information against him. He could see the gleam in Light's eyes. He was enjoying this. 

"I will not ask you again, Light, go away," L said in a calmer voice even though all of his instincts were screaming at him to run away and get out. There were not many places that he could go (especially in just a sweater and a diaper) that Light could not follow. 

"C'mon, Ryuzaki, I'm not going to do anything to you. I just wanna chat," Light said, noticing the slight tremors in L's body and how wound up he was. 

'He's going to bolt,' Light thought to himself, trying to think of a way to prevent that from happening. 

The closer Light got, the more that L’s mind was shouting at him to run, but he did not listen. He needed to stay calm, or at least appear calm on the outside. 

“I do not want to chat with you,” L said, turning his body away from Light and toward the bathroom. It would be so easy to hide in there until Light got bored and decided to leave. He could deal with Light tomorrow, but not tonight, “please go away.” 

L sounded close to having a breakdown, and won’t that be sweet, watching the Great L have a meltdown.

“Oh, come on, Ryuzaki,” Light said as he kneeled down next to L, not missing the slight hitch in his breath as he did so. A tear escaped L’s eye, Light reached out with a tender hand to brush it away, but L shoved his hand back. 

“Don’t be like that, Ryuzaki,” Light said, face remaining neutral while his insides twisted in annoyance, “I just wanna help.” 

“You’re Kira,” L stated, leaning away from Light. He did like that Light was this close. It made his heart pound against his ribcage. He felt trapped. He needed to get away. 

“I’m Kira because I want to help you,” Light asked, inserting hurt into his tone. 

“I don’t need your help,” L said, “and yes, you are Kira.”

“I’m not Kira,” Light said, putting as much compassion into his voice as possible, “and that’s what friends do, right? They help each other.” 

That was a lie; they were not friends. They could not be friends. L wanted to tell Light that, but he did not get the chance when Light touched his shoulder. L jumped back, not because the touch did not feel good, the opposite. The touch felt very good and warm, and that is why he needed to push away. He could not let Light get this close. 

“No,” L ment from it to sound like a demand, but it sounded more like a plea, “don’t touch me.” 

“Why not?” Light asked. While it would be fun to see L have a breakdown, they did not need that right now. He needed L to believe that Light wanted to help him, at least for now. At least long enough so he could get pictures. He could call it a prank.

“Because I don’t want you to!” L said, making a move to get up, more tears streaming down his face. Light stood as well. 

“Calm down, L,” Light said, looking L up and down. He had to admit, the outfit (or lack of one) was cute, “I’m not going to do anything to you.” 

L was not listening; his mind was now frantic, telling him that he needed to get away. He made a move to run into the bathroom, but he felt Light grab his wrist. L’s tummy gave a sharp twist at that, and he felt nausea crash into him like a wave. L let out a sob at the feeling. He did not want Light touching him, but he was being mean and doing it anyway. Did Mr. Yagami ever teach Light to keep his hands to himself?

“Let go!” L shouted, now frantic, trying to pull his arm out of Light’s grasp, “let me go!”

“I can’t do that. Not until you calm down,” Light said, now slightly worried that L was going to hurt himself. He did not want that. 

“No!” L screeched, hysterically trying to fight against Light. 

“L calm-” Light was cut when L landed a powerful kick to his shin. Light gasped, and the pain made him loosen his grip on L’s wrist just enough for L to get it free. L ran to the bathroom and closed and locked the door behind him. 

Once he was safely alone in the bathroom, L broke down into sobs. The boy brought his knees to his chest and buried his head in his knees. Anxiety crashed into him over and over again, causing his chest to tighten painfully and made his breathing difficult. Nausea overcame him, and he barely made it to the toilet before he threw up. It was not often that he threw up due to anxiety. There were only a handful of times that L could think of. L continued to sob through the retching until his body did not have anything else to give. L whimpered as he dry heaved, nothing coming up anymore. 

Once he was sure his body was done, L fell back so that he was sitting on his bottom with knees pulled up. L whimpered, his throat hurt, and now his diaper was all squishy. He did not even realize that he had to go potty. He wished he had his pacifier and his Sakura and his blankie. He was suddenly very cold and tired, and he knew that it was because he just got sick. L sniffled and continued to cry into his knees. He would need to wait until Light went away before he could have any of those things. 

…

“Little brat,” Light muttered under his breath as he held his shin. He could hear L’s sobs, and while they should sound heart-wrenching, Light could not believe that those cries were coming from an adult, let alone L. The man could not help be feel annoyed. 

“Got your ass handed to you by a kid, Light-o. Hyuk hyuk,” Ryuk laughed. 

“He’s not a kid,” Light whispered, not sure if L could hear him over all the noise that he was making, but not wanting to take the chance. 

“Then what’s all this?” Ryuk asked, pointing his claw toward the mound of blankets, terribly curious about what this interesting human could be hiding. 

“Age regression,” Light said, going over where L was lying down. The panda toy was left abandoned, and an empty bottle with a little bit of brown liquid was left in it. Light reached under the pillow and pulled out the pacifier. "Who knew the Great Detective L had a little space," Light said with a smirk, putting the pacifier in his pocket. 

Ryuk, who had no idea what Light was talking about but decided to go along with it anyway, "what are you planning on doing?" he asked, knowing that look on Light's face. 

"Hmm, you'll see," Light said. 

Light then winced as he heard retching from the bathroom. L was throwing up. Was it because he was so upset? Light pushed down the pang of guilt that ran through his chest. It was not his fault that L worked himself up so much. There was also the possibility that L was sick. He did not feel warm or act like he did not feel good. So, it was more likely that it was his nerves. 

Light needed to at least pretend that he wanted to help the other man, so he left the bedroom to get a glass of water for L. There was no doubt in Light's mind that L's throat would hurt him. 

Once he entered the room again, Light heard tiny cries still coming from the bathroom, but L sounded calmer now. Maybe he would listen. 

Light gently knocked on the bathroom door, "hey, Ryuzaki, open the door, please," Light said, inserting compassion and tenderness into his voice. 

"No," L groaned. 

"C'mon, man. I'm sorry I pushed you so hard. I'm sorry I made you so upset. You're just a little, right?" Light asked, gritting his teeth at needing to apologize to L. 

"You know," L sniffled. He sounded shooked. 

"Yeah," Light responded. 

"How?" L asked. 

"Let's just say I thank whoever created the incognito browser," Light joked. 

"Oh," L said in understanding. 

After a moment's silence, Light said, "I don't want to have this conversation through a door. Can you please open up so that we can talk?" 

"No," L denied, "I don't wanna."

"Why not?" Light already had L talking. All he needed to do was convince him to open the door, then not scare L off again. 

L muttered something the Light could not understand. Light imagined that L had his head in his knees. 

"I didn't catch that, Ryuzaki," Light said, getting angry at needing to ask L to repeat himself, and he was not getting anywhere with him. 

"I'm scared," L whined, voice shaking slightly. 

Okay, that was… heartbreaking, but another side of him (the louder side of him) thought that L should be scared of him and immensely enjoyed that L was. 

"Hey, there is no need to be scared of me. I just want to help," Light said. 

"Don't want help," L said, though Light could tell that he was lying. They would need to work on that. 

"You may not," Light responded, keeping up a level of understanding, "but I can't leave you alone when you are so upset. So, please open the door and let me help. Just for tonight, okay, let me help you just for tonight. If you never want to talk about this ever again after tonight, I promise that I'll never bring this up again. Please let me help you for now, please?" 

There was a pregnant pause; then Light heard the door unlock. Light took a couple of steps back to give L some space. 

L poked his head out of the door. His eyes and nose were red, and his eyes were glassy with tears still trapped in them. His lower lip was trembling slightly. 

He looked so pitiful. Light smiled reassuringly. 

"Do you want some water?" Light said in a kind voice. 

L nodded, "yes, please," he whispered, taking the glass of water (though he wanted to pout that it was not a sippy cup). "Thank you."

L was still barely out of the bathroom. Light would need him further out, so he could so easily scamper back into hiding. So, Light leaned down and picked up the panda bear. 

"Gimme her," Light heard L whine. Light turned back toward him. L still had not moved from his spot, but his arm was now outstretched, reaching toward his panda. 

"Please," L added when Light did not hand Sakura over. 

"Come get her," Light prompted as he stood up, stretching on his arm that was holding the panda. 

L whined, taking a step back. He knew that Light wanted him out of the bathroom, but he did not trust Light enough to do that, no matter how much he claimed to want to help. But he wanted Sakura back, so the boy took a couple of tentative steps forward. When Light did not attack or whatever he was expecting Light to do, L took a few more steps. Then a few more until he could reach out and touch Sakura. 

L took up at Light, silently asking for Sakura. Light released her, allowing L to snuggle the toy to his chest. 

"H-here," L said, handing Light the now empty glass. 

"Thanks," Light smiled, taking the glass. 

Thankfully, L did not try to move back. He stood in the same spot, right in front of Light, holding the panda to his chest. 

Light looked L up and down again. He looked much more at ease now that he had a comfort item. He no longer had tears in his eyes, and he was no longer shaking. He was, nevertheless, still tense and obviously nervous, but at least he was not freaking out anymore. 

Light also noticed that the wetness indicator on the diaper was blue. L had wet the diaper. As disgusted as Light wanted to be by that, he was not. He supposed that is what the diaper was for. 

"You're wet," Light said.

L whimpered and held onto Sakura a little tighter. He nodded. 

Light smiles, "well, we should probably change that."

"I can do it," L insisted, and he could, but he had to admit that someone else changing him sounded nice. 

"I bet you can," Light said, inserting a comforting tone to his voice, "but I said I wanted to help. Would you please let me help?"

L gulped and nodded. By opening the bathroom door, he promised to let Light help. He could only hope that Light would keep his end of the promise. 

"Good," Light said, "where do you keep your diapers?"

"In the safe," L said, walking over to said safe as Light followed him. Light looked into the safe and saw about four diapers (they would need to get more), some clothes, and a few toys. It was nothing much but had to be L's most precious things if he was going to these lengths to protect them. 

L did not make a move to pick out a diaper, so Light picked one up. It had four owls, two blue and two green on the front with green and blue crescent moons and stars. The rest of the diaper was covered in blue polka dots. 

It was cute. 

"Okay," Light said, looking over at L, not sure how to change L. He knew how to change a baby because of the home economics class in high school. L was much bigger than a baby, and this diaper had four tapes instead of two. But Light was not going to let that stop him, and he did not let his hesitation show. 

"Lay down, L," Light told him, picking up baby power that L had in the safe. 

"It's Ryuzaki," L muttered, nibbling on his thumb, wanting to stick it in his mouth to suckle on, but he could not let himself become that little. Not with Light. He could not trust Light with that. Tomorrow this would be all over. 

Light simply nodded as he untapped the dirty diaper. He looked up at L to see that he was blushing bright red. He had his panda in front of him and was rubbing its fur, and he had his thumb in his mouth. 

“Here, L,” Light said, taking the pacifier out of his pocket and handing it to L. 

“Thank you,” L mumbled, taking his pacifier out of Light’s hand and popping it in his mouth. 

“So, what's the panda’s name?” Light asked as L lifted his hips, and he took that diaper out from under him.

“Sakura,” L murmured passed his pacifier.

“That’s a pretty name,” Light told him. 

L smiled, “thank you.” 

“Okay, lift up,” Light said, pushing the diaper under L. He sprinkled baby powder over L’s diaper area.

“Does that feel okay?” Light asked after he taped up L’s diaper. 

“Yeah,” L said, then yawned wide and rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted. The boy looked back at his nest. He wanted nothing more than to go to his nest, curl up, and go to sleep. 

“Tired?” Light asked with a smile. If he could get L to fall asleep, and if Watari was right and L was a heavy sleeper, he would be able to take a few photos of him. It was blackmail, and he knew that, but he could not think of a better way to humiliate L. 

“Yeah,” L nodded, standing without prompting and going to his nest. He curled under his blanket and held Sakura close to him and suckled his pacifier. He was not completely little, he could not fully regress with Light in the room, but he was closer to being little than being a big boy.

“I’m gonna turn off the light, okay?” Light said as he watched L curl up under his blanket. He hated to admit it, but L was kind of cute like this. Not that that fact would make him stop. 

“‘Kay,” L mumbled, barely audible. He was already close to falling asleep. 

Once Light shut off the lights, he went over to L. He looked down at L. There was a little bit of city light shining in through the window so that Light could see L’s face. It looked oddly peaceful.

“What’re you doin’, Light?” L asked, forcing his eyes to open. He looked up at Light, who smiled down at him. The smile almost looked sincere. 

Light did not answer the question, just moved so that he was settled behind him. It was a tight squeeze, but Light did not mind, especially when L squirmed beside him. Light put an arm around L to settle him. 

“What are you doing?” L asked, wanting to push Light away and demand that he go home. He helped enough. Light could go home now. But he did not; he hated to admit it, but the touch felt nice.

“Holding you,” Light responded, “want to help you go to sleep,”

“You’ve helped,” L said, “you can go now, Light.” 

“We agreed to tonight, didn’t we?” Light asked but did not give L a chance to answer, “just relax and go to sleep, Ryuzaki.”

L could not help but listen and close his eyes. L then heard Light start to hum something, but L did not know what it was. 

“What’s that?” L mumbled sleepily. 

“Shh,” Light cooed, rubbing up and down L’s side, “go to sleep, Ryuzaki.” 

L hummed. He was so sleepy that it was easy to listen to Light. 

Light smirked as he heard soft snores coming from L. He waited for about fifteen minutes before taking out his phone. He ignored texts that he got from his father and opened his camera app. 

He would only need a few photos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Light is a complete asshole in this one. This should be interesting because I normally don't write Light as being an asshole. Next chapter, the blackmail and humiliation will start. See you lovely people there.


	2. Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light blackmails L.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And let the fun begin.

"Ryuzaki, it's time to wake up," L heard someone say as they shook him. L groaned and squirmed away from the hand. He was not ready to wake up yet. He was warm and comfortable. The hand and voice were persistent in bringing him back to the waking world. 

"Not yet, Mr. Wam- Watari," L muttered, "five more minutes." 

Watari chuckled, but it did not sound like Watari. It was too high-pitched and loud. Then, it hit L. Watari was at Wammy's and would be there for at least the next week. L cracked open his eyes and looked around his room, confused as he sometimes was after coming out of little space. Was he in little space last night? Yeah, he had to have been. He had his pacifier in his mouth and his Sakura. L squirmed so that he was laying on his back, and he recognized the crinkle of a diaper and felt the wetness trapped in it. L made a noise of discontent. He would need to have a shower before starting work. Taking a shower would help any trace of Little L go into the back of his mind until the next time he was ready to regress again. Then he would need to put away all his little stuff and put the blankets and pillows where they belonged. Hopefully, he could get all that done before the Task Force came in. 

"Ryuzaki," L heard again. Someone was in the room with him, and it could not be Watari. L looked to the side and saw that Light was kneeling down next to him. The man flinched as he remembered everything that happened the previous night. All of L's walls were up in an instant, and his face took on an expressionless mask. Light saw the change in L and smirked. 

"What are you still doing here, Light?" L asked, taking his pacifier out of his mouth. 

"I accidentally fell asleep," Light lied easily, "but it's time to wake up now." Light then stood, and L assumed that he was going to leave the room.

L did not want to stand up yet, not until Light left the room. He did not want to expose his wet diaper or the childish thing that he was wearing, though he already knew that Light had seen them the night before. 

"What are you doing?" L asked when Light went toward the safe. 

"Getting you a nice, fresh diaper," Light said, turning to L with a smile. 

L's stomach twisted at the words, "What are you talking about? I don't need a diaper." L kept his voice calm and monotone like normal. He would not get emotional like he did the previous night. He could not allow himself to get that way again. Whatever Light was planning (and he was planning something), L could not let him succeed.

"I know that," Light said simply, taking out one of the last diapers. 

"Then, what are you doing?" L asked. He had an idea of what Light was doing, but he did not want to give that any thought. 

"I'm going to change you," Light said as if it were common sense. 

L fought not to blush. What was Light going on about? There was no way that L would let him do something like that, especially when they needed to get to work. L did not mix little space and work. He could not risk the childish, illogical side of him coming out during work time, and that is what would happen if he wore a diaper to work. His body and (more importantly) his mind had been conditioned to associate diapers and his pacifier and Sakura and his blankie with regression, of course. He needed to be an adult during work, reasonable and rational. 

"No, you're not," L said, staring at Light, daring him to push the issue further. 

Light smirked in a way that sent a shiver down his spine, but he kept his face carefully blank. 

"I thought you would say that," Light said, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. He tapped at it a few times before showing L the phone. What L saw made his stomach drop. 

It was a picture of him, which was already concerning. In the photo, he had his head turned away from the camera with his pacifier in his mouth, and Sakura held in his arms, under his chin. Light swapped his thumb so that the phone depicted a similar photo, this time with his diaper in the frame. 

After a few very similar photos, L had enough and said, "that's enough, Yagami, delete those photos now." 

"I don't think so," Light said, moving to put his phone away, but L made a move to take the phone out of Light's hands. Light had expected L to try and take his phone away, so he threw it so that it landed on the bed. L turned in an instant, trying to make it to the bed, but Light grabbed his arms in an ironclad grip. 

L looked Light in the eyes, "give me the phone, Yagami," L said in a cold tone. 

"You are in no position to be giving out orders," Light said, and as cliche, as it was, it was true. L knew that. He did not have power in this situation, and he knew that. As long as Light had those photos, he had the power. That was terrifying. L was used to having all the power and control. That is who he remained so calm in chasing the most dangerous criminals and in confrontation. In this situation, where someone was trying to execute power and control over him, he did not know how to react. So, he did the only thing that he could think of. He attacked the younger man with his feet, trying to get a solid kick like he did the night before. 

Unfortunately for L, Light had predicted all of this, the confusion, anger, fear, and even the attack. Typically, Light would have fought back to hurt, but he could not hurt L right now. If he had bruises, that would cause too many questions from the Task Force. While they did not like L very much, they were still detectives and would not want to see a coworker hurt, and would push until they got answers. 

"Calm down, L. I don't want to hurt you," Light said, dodging L's kicks. 

"Give me the phone," L demanded, refusing to let tears enter his eyes. He would not break down in front of Light again, but he had to admit that he was scared. He had no idea what Light was going to do with those photos, and he could not let them get out. 

Light did not answer L. He simply tripped L, making him tumble to the ground. Light kept his hands around L's arms, using his hands to push L so that he landed face down on his stomach. His left arm was pinned to his side and his other held behind his back upper arm and hand pointing toward his neck. Light kneeled on the back of L's legs, weight effectively pinning L to the ground. 

"Get off of me," L grunted, trying to squirm out from under the younger man. He felt trapped, claustrophobic. His breathing picked up, and his heart rate tripled. His chest tightened. His head became cloudy with panic. No, no, not now. He could not panic now. L took a calming breath and shook his head, trying to chase away the anxiety gnawing at his chest. It worked for the most part, but the anxiety stayed with him like a shadow. 

"Calm down, L," Light said, in an almost calming tone, rubbing the inside of his left wrist soothingly. 

"Get off of me," L said, this time sounding desperate. 

"I'll get off you as soon as you calm down and listen to me," Light said, injecting as much comfort as he could into his tone, though it was so much fun to have this power over L. he could not wait until L agreed to his plan. He would make it sound like a prank. He was not sure where this would end, perhaps when L died. He would have fun while this lasted, though. 

"I'm calm," L said after a few minutes of silence. 

"Good," Light said, moving his legs so that they were on either side of L's. He knew that having that amount of weight on his legs must hurt. Light smirked when L did not move an inch. 

"Now listen, L, I have those photos saved multiple places, including on a thumb drive," that was a lie, Light did not have them saved on a thumb drive yet, but L did not need to know that. "So, if you don't want the rest of the Task Force or Watari to see them, you will do as I say." 

Light wanted L to submit to him, L realized a burst of anger exploding in his chest at the realization. L would not (could not) submit. The thought of the entire Task Force laughing at him and losing respect for him crossed his mind, but he did not care about that. He did, however, care if Watari found out. The thought of Watari being disgusted by how he coped with the world made L shutter in fear. He could live without the Task Force's help or respect, but he could not live without Watari. He would never admit it to anyone, but he thought of Watari as a father. Watari raised him and took care of him. Watari loved him. The thought of that love being taken away was horrifying. He would do anything to keep Watari around.

But would not, could not submit that easy, so he flipped, hard and fast, so that he was the one on top, ignoring the slight pain in his shoulder. Light let him go mid flip, so it seemed that he did not want to hurt L. 

"I will not submit to you," L growled. 

'He's like an angry puppy,' Light thought. He saw past the growl. L was scared. He did not want his secrete revealed. It would only take a push, and he would listen to Light. 

With this knowledge, Light pushed L off of him and walked toward the bed. L was after him. Light ignored him in favor of grabbing his phone. 

Light hovered his thumb over the 'send' button, causing L to freeze. Light smirked, when comforted with a fear, L crumpled. It was almost pitiful. 

"I could send the pictures right now," Light threatened, "everyone would know. Watari would know." 

"Don't tell Watari," L whispered in a tone barely audible. L's eyes widened when he realized that he gave valuable information to his prime suspect and, now, blackmailer. 

'Ohh, doesn't want Watari to find out, does he. This could prove to be valuable information.'

"I won't tell Watari," Light said with a kind smile, "just listen and let me change you."

'Using language that makes it sound like my choice, but, truly, I have no choice.'

"I don't want to wear a diaper at work," L muttered, nibbling on his thumbnail, "someone will notice." 

"No one will notice, L," Light said, smiling when L did not correct him, "your jeans will conceal any noise, plus you wear baggy enough clothes that no one will see it." 

L said nothing. He would not admit that he lost this battle but allowed Light to guide him to the middle of the room again. 

Light was about to ask L to lay down for him when L asked, "may I go take a shower, please?" 

"Sure," Light said, "but hurry. The Task Force should be here in about an hour." 

L nodded, disappearing into the bathroom. Light gave a smile as the door closed. He won, for now, that is. It might be a long time before Light got the chance to kill L, but he could use this as not only as a way to humiliate the older man but as a chance to get information that might lead to Light finding out his real name. He already knew that Watari and L must be closer than they looked if L was so scared about Watari getting the photos. Light smirked. This should prove to be interesting. 

On the other side of the door, L turned on the showerhead and started to think. He was anxious, embarrassed, humiliated, and scared all at the same time. It was hard to organize his emotions when there were so many, most of them he was not used to. Pushing the emotions away, L tried to think of how to get out of this situation he found himself in. If Light was telling the truth and had the photos saved to multiple places, including a thumb drive, L was screwed. He had no idea where the thumb drive was and, therefore, could not destroy it. So, for now, at least, he would need to go along with Light's game. 

It did not escape him that Light was exhibiting very Kira-like behavior with trying to gain power over him. Still, without sold evidence against him, there was nothing that he could do about that. L could, however, could try and use this to gain Light's trust. If he could gain Light's trust and make him put his guard down, he could get evidence that he was Kira that way. 

L smiled. He was going to use the situation that Light forced him into against the younger man. 

He was going to win. 

…

It was about twenty minutes until L walked out of the bathroom. His hair was still dripping, and he had a towel around his waist. 

"You're dripped water everywhere, L," Light scolded, "give me the towel." 

L, not looking at Light, took off the towel and handed it to Light. L made a noise of protest when Light, none too gently, scrubbed his hair. "Ahh, be gentle." 

"You want me to be more gentle?" Light snorted.

"That's the least that I can request, is it not?" L snapped back.

"I suppose," Light said, rubbing the towel over L's hair one more time, this time much more gentle. 

"You should let me brush your hair," Light said, running a hair through the tangled strands. 

"If you want to," L said, knowing that he did not have a choice, "but I have tried before, but it always just… fluffs back up." 

"I can tame it," Light said with confidence.

L simply rolled his eyes at the younger man's arrogance and knowing that he would not succeed. 

"Okay, lay down so I can get you dressed," Light said, walking over to retrieve the diaper (which fell to the ground during their struggle) and L's normal clothes. While walking over to L, who was lying down like ordered, he picked up baby powder. He would rather avoid a diaper rash if possible. 

Light kneeled down next to L and laid out all that he would need. He started with the diaper. 

"Lift up, L," Light said. L hesitated only a second before lifting his hips. L felt his cheeks burn as Light slipped the diaper under him and sprinkled baby powered over his dick and bottom. He tried to fight the blush, but there was nothing he could do about his bodily reaction to his embarrassment. 

Light smirked as the blush and said, "you might as well get used to this, L." 

"How long are you planning on doing this?" L asked as Light tapped up the diaper. 

"Not long," Light said.

L did not believe him. 

"Lift up," Light said once again. L did not hesitate this time. He wanted his diaper covered as soon as possible. Light pulled up L's jeans and buttoned them. 

"You'll need to get more diapers," Light said, pulling L so that he was sitting down in front of him in a semi-normal position. 

"I was already planning on it," L said, lifting his arms so that Light could pull his shirt over his head. 

"Good," Light said, standing, "c'mon," he as he reached out his hands to help L up, which L took. "We need to get to work." 

L blushed a light pink. Today was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have a lot of ideas of how Light can humiliate L. I will not give it all away, but one thing I thought of might take it too far for L. I was thinking Light might spank L if he does something "bad." I was thinking L would either react by thinking "fuck it, send the photos, I don't care' or if it was the choice between 15 spankings or sending the photos to Watari, he would choose the spankings because he does not want Watari to find out. 
> 
> What do you guys think?


	3. Diaper Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L is very reluctant to wet his diaper.

L had been right. His hair had not been able to be tamed. Light spent the last half hour before the rest of the Task Force showed up attempting to brush it down. 

"You just need a haircut," Light said after admitting defeat. 

"I will not allow Light to cut my hair," L said.

"Don't trust me?" Light asked with a smirk. 

"No," L replied simply. 

Light expected nothing less. 

…

Apparently, Light had told his father that L was not feeling well when he came to the hotel to retrieve his phone, and, like a good friend, "decided to stay and take care of him." L was happy that no one was facing his way to see him blush at the use of those words. 

Soichiro praised his son for being such a good friend. 'Yes, such a good friend,' L thought bitterly as he sipped at his tea, 'a good friend that blackmails the other into wearing diapers and God, if there is a God, knows what else he will do.' His thoughts went to a very dark, sinister place. Light won't… would he. No, he might murder criminals, but he would not do that, would he? No, Kira would kill people like that, killed Him. Light would not do that, and if he attempted, L would sooner tell Watari his secret than let that happen. L shook his head, trying to get those thoughts out of his head. It worked mostly. 

L attempted to focus back on his work, but it was difficult. The diaper was a constant distraction. Do not get him wrong, he liked wearing diapers, but only when he was regressed. While regressed, it was a comfort item like his pacifier or Sakura. They gave him a safe, warm, protected feeling, especially when he realized that his little side tended to forget that he had to go to the toilet and would have accidents. Wearing a diaper and changing it once it became uncomfortable was much better than worrying about having accidents. It took him a while to be able to admit it to himself, but he liked wetting his diapers. It was not a sexual thing for him (he was pretty sure that he did not have those types of urges), but wetting made him feel that much more little- too little to use the potty like a big boy. The littler he felt, the more he was able to forget all of his adult responsibilities and the easier it became to lay down and snuggle with Sakura and suckle on his pacifier and watch cartoons and turn off his brain for a few hours. 

So, yes, he enjoyed his diapers. Still, because of all his association of diapers with regression, it was like his diaper was telling his brain it was time to regress. However, he knew that it was not time to regress. He had to push his little side back, which normally would not have been a problem unless he had not allowed himself to be little for a while, like yesterday. Light was there, however. 

Light was like a constant reminder of what was going on and a constant reminder of what he had between his legs and taped around his hips. And, more concerning, his bladder was starting to become a constant reminder. If L were regressed, he would have simply let go, but he was not regressed, and he was concerned that letting go would be the push he needed to drop. He knew that it more than likely would not happen that way, but it still scared him. Plus, L knew that Light wanted him to wet his diaper, and that made him want to hold it even more. No matter how many times Light filled up his teacup (looking like a 'concerned friend' for his 'sick friend') with a pointed look that read 'drink it.' 

L held his bladder back, even after hours of the first hint that he needed to go. Even after his bladder started to ache and he had to fight to not squirm in his seat. No matter how much it distracted him from work, and his mind was telling him to let go. He knew that Light would not let him go to the toilet, so it would be easier to let go and avoid any more discomfort (read pain). He also knew that Light wanted to change him. When L was ordering more diapers that morning, his exact words were, "you will not be changing your diapers anymore, Ryuzaki, that's my responsibility," and that made L's stomach twist. Light was gentle when he changed him, but that did not mean that L wanted Light to change him. That was a bit of control that L was not willing to give up easily.

L was broken from his thoughts by Light putting a hand on his shoulder, "hey, Ryuzaki, are you okay."

"Fine, Light," L muttered, taking a sip from his teacup that Light just refilled. Why does he keep drinking when he needs to pee so bad? Did Light's looks really have that much power over him? No, that could not be it. It was the pictures that had all of the power. 

"Are you sure?" Light said, sitting down in a chair next to L and getting close enough to whisper, "you kind of seem distracted." 

"And you know why, Light," L replied, shifting slightly in his seat, happy that only Matsuda was in the room with them. 

"Not sure what you're talking about," Light said with a smirk, "why don't you tell me?" 

L would have much rather have told Light to piss off, but that might have been too on the nose, so he said, "I thought you would have enough brains to figure it out." 

Light's look turned dark as his intelligence was questioned, "I have figured it out. I just want to hear you say it, Ryuzaki." 

"I would rather not," L said, turning his attention back to work.

"Oh, c'mon, it's just a few words. You say them every day," Light said, but L ignored him.

Light was nothing if not patient, so he waited, looking over the evidence on the table. The rest of the team filed in about five minutes later and L tensed at the number of people in the room. Eventually, L could not stop from shifting around every few minutes. So much so that some of the team memories were giving L concerned looks. L did not seem to notice, too absorbed in his own discomfort. After about an hour later, L could not stop from making tiny whines and whimpers. They were not loud enough for anyone else but Light to hear, but they were like music to Light's ears. Light did not want L to be in pain, he was not a monster, but he did enjoy how much control he had. He had the power to make L this uncomfortable. L could just get up, probably not right now but earlier he could have, and go to the bathroom, but he knew that would risk Light sending the photos. Would Light send the photos over that? Honestly, he would not want to. He did not want this game to end yet, but he would find a way to punish L. 

After a few minutes of the noises, Light took pity on L. It was obvious that he was not going to let go without some prompting. He was too stubborn, but Light did not want to use the photos to break the stubbornness. He would use kind and reassuring words to make L do as he wanted unless it was a grievous transgression. 

"C'mon, Ryuzaki," Light whispered when the rest of the team's backs were turned, "you're in pain, just tell me." 

"I-I," L stammered, shifting. He felt like he was going to burst. He had to go so bad. It hurt. L bowed his head slightly, it could have looked like he was looking down at a piece of evidence, but Light saw it for what it was. L was submitting to him. At least for now. 

"I have to go to the bathroom," L said, tone barely audible, "bad." 

"That's obvious," Light said, shifting closer, making it look like they were sharing the computer. Light rubbed up and down L's shin, the only part of his body that Light could touch without the team seeing. "C'mon, L, just let go." 

"Can't," L said, eyes shifting to where the rest of the team was. 

"Yes, you can. Don't pay attention to them," Light said, putting as much comfort in his tone as possible, "just let go, Ryuzaki. I'll change you as soon as you go, okay. Just let go." 

The unbearable pressure in his bladder combined with Light's gentle touch and words finally pushed him over the edge. A tiny stream left his body, which he tried to hold in after, but it was simply pushing off the inevitable. L tried not to show the relief on his face as he finally let go and flooded his diaper, but he could not hold back a sigh or from sagging slightly in his chair. 

The reality of the situation caught up with him. He was wetting himself with six other people in the room. It suddenly felt too hot in the room that had nothing to do with the warmth spreading around his diaper. He was suddenly scared that someone would notice his diaper swelling up, though he knew that was not possible become of what he was wearing and the way he sat, but, as he continued wetting and the bulk that was usually so comforting started to get bigger, he fear of being found out got bigger as well. 

"There you go, Ryuzaki," Light whispered, noticing the flush look on L's cheeks and the way his tense body finally relaxed, "good boy," Light was not sure where the praise came from, but it was worth the glare he received. 

"I'm not a dog," L grumbled. He sighed as his stream finally ended. He looked over at the Task Force, who all were, thankfully, none the wiser. 

"I'm done," L said, blush deepening slightly. 

"Good," Light whispered back. Light waited a few minutes, just enough time for the warm feeling in L's diaper to cool down and become uncomfortably cold and heavy. He then stood to walk out of the room. 

"Where are you going, Light," his father asked. 

"To the bathroom," Light sent a tiny smirk L's way. 

L glared back. What happened to changing him? He would rather not sit in a soaked, cold diaper for the rest of the day and knew that Light would not let him change himself. A second later, L got his answer in the form of a text from Light. 

'Meet me in your room in a few minutes. Make up some sort of excuse to leave the room. Don't say that you have to go to the bathroom, though.'

L rolled his eyes at the last sentence but listened. Three minutes after Light left the room, L said that he needed to call Watari and walked quickly to his room. He tried not to think about how his diaper was so full that it affected the way he walked or how the outline of his diaper might be obvious now. He just wanted out of this diaper. 

Once L entered his room, he closed and locked it. He would rather not someone walk in on Light changing him. 

"You're too stubborn," Light said with a smirk. 

"And you're a dickhead, your point?" L snapped. 

"What if I make you beg for a change?" Light smirked as L glared. 

"I would never beg you, arsehole," L said. 

"We'll see about that," Light sighed, "but we do not have the time right now, unfortunately. So, get over here." 

L grumbled under his breath as he laid down where Light had already spread out a towel, a fresh diaper, baby wipes, and baby powder.

"I think someone needs his mute button," Light said as he kneeled next to L, fishing L's pacifier out of his pocket. 

Light tried to press the pacifier to L's lips when L moved his head back, "has that been in your pocket all day?" 

"Yeah," Light said, "I thought we would need it at some point." 

L was not sure the emotion that surged through him at the realization that Light had his pacifier on him all day. His pacifier was his, not Light's. It belonged with him. 

L did not hesitate in opening his mouth to accept his pacifier. He was not regressing, but he needed the comfort that came from suckling on his pacifier. His pacifier was always better than his thumb. 

"Good boy," Light muttered again as he pulled down L's pants to reveal his soaked diaper.

"Quit calling me that," L demanded passed his pacifier. 

"I can call you whatever I want, L," Light said, putting pressure on L's true name. 

"Shut up, you prat," L muttered. 

Light, not fully understanding what L said due to the muttering and the pacifier but knowing there was an insult in there, tapped the button of his pacifier and said, "the mute button isn't working very well." 

L huffed but did not backtalk and suckled on his pacifier. He closed his eyes and felt as Light changed him, humiliation coming over him, and he blushed for what felt like the thousandth time in less than twenty-four hours.

"Maybe we should have it replaced," Light teased. 

L shook his head, opening his eyes to send Light another glare. Light would not dare throw away his pacifier. He had grown attached to it a long time ago.

"Okay, put away the daggers," Light said, rolling his eyes at the glare, "but you should consider getting more. A baby shouldn't have just one pacifier," or bottle or stuffed animal. They were not going to talk about that right now, however. 

"Notta baby," L grumbled, closing his eyes again. At least right now, he wasn't. 

"Yeah, yeah. Lift up," Light instructed. L listened.

Light made quick work of changing L's diaper. If they had more time, he would have gloated a little bit more to make L's cheeks redder. He loved making L blush. 

"There, all dry," Light said. L made a noise but did not move to get up. He seemed more than happy to lay there and suckle on his pacifier, and as cute as that was, they needed to get back to work before the others got suspicions.

Light hooked his finger around the ring of the pacifier and tugged it out of the detective's mouth with a pop. 

"Hey," L whined before stopping himself. He was not regressed. He did not need his pacifier right now and did not whine. 

Light snorted at the whine, "Don't whine at me. We need to get back to work." 

Light stood to put away the supplies then said, "come back in a few minutes, and by that, I mean more than three, so it does not look suspicious." 

"I know how to draw attention away from myself," L muttered, chewing on his thumbnail, resisting the urge to suck on it. 

"Sure you do," Light said, leaving the room before L could say anything back. 

L was thankful when Light left the room. He needed time to get his head on straight, so he did not slip into little space. L took a few calming breaths and crossed his legs like one would do when they meditate. 

By the time he left the room fifteen minutes later, L was fully in his adult headspace but ready for the day to be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK why L used British insults when he got mad, but I am living for L calling Light a dickhead and a prat. 
> 
> Next chapter will be Light visiting L after work again to put him to bed.


	4. Goodnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light puts L to bed.

Light smirked as he sat his backpack down in his room at home. He sat at his desk so that he could transfer the photos of L onto a thumb drive. He enjoyed today, to say the least. Light was surprised that the rest of the Task Force did not seem to notice anything was off about L. If they did, they probably assumed that it was the flux sickness that Light talked about. Unfortunately, he was not able to change L's diaper before leaving work. L had claimed not to be too wet, and Light did not want to waste his last diaper. According to L, the diapers he ordered that morning should arrive the next morning, hopefully before the rest of the Task Force arrived. Light reminded L that he was not allowed to change his own diapers before he left. Light also said that he would come back later that night to change him. Perhaps he would put L to bed. L did not get enough sleep, the dark circles under his eyes being evidence of that. Plus, the more L slept, the less work he would get done on the Kira case. Of course, he could not let it come across like that. He would make it seem like he cared.

After dinner, about an hour after coming home, Light claimed that he had a study group that he needed to get to. 

"When should you be back?" his mother asked. 

Light thought about that for a second. It was only eight, but he knew how stubborn L was and how much he would not want to go to sleep. Of course, that depended on how tired he was. When he left, L looked drained. 

"No later than twelve," Light responded, grabbing the keys to the spare car, "I'll see you later, Mom." 

"Where are we going, Light?" Ryuk asked, flying next to the car. 

"Don't you pay attention to anything?" Light asked.

"Only if it's interesting," Ryuk replied, "what's going on between you and L is pretty interesting." 

"Well, lucky for you, that's where we are going," Light told him with a smirk, "gonna take care of L for a little bit." 

Ryuk picked up on the words and tone. Light wanted to take care of L, but not just to embarrass him like he was claiming. L was growing on Light, ever so slowly. 

Ryuk flew up to the clouds, wondering if Light was aware of what he was getting himself into.

…

L yawned widely and rubbed his eyes. He tried to focus on the words on his computer screen, but all they did was blur together. L rubbed his eyes again, trying to force them to focus, but he could not. He could not even remember what he was reading about. Something about the latest batch of heart attack victims, he was sure, but he was not comprehending the words. He was too tired, both emotionally and physically. It had been a hard day with constant embarrassment and other emotions he was unsure of how to describe. L had a hard time with feelings, both understanding his own and the those of others around him. It was easier to pretend that he did not have any. If he did not have any emotions, he did not have to worry about needing to dissect said emotions. Unfortunately, L was human and had all the emotions every other human had. He was attempting to dissect at least some of the emotions still racing through him, but the more he tried, the more exhausted he became. L sighed in frustration. Why was understanding his own emotions and feelings more complicated than most cases he worked on? He thought that it should be the opposite. It was not fair. 

On top of his emotions leaving him feeling like he was on empty, he was also physically exhausted. Sure, he got about seven hours of sleep the previous night, but it was not much considering he did not sleep four days prior and the tantrum he threw the night before. He just wanted to sleep for at least 24 hours. That would be reaching a record, but he felt like he needed it. Maybe he would give the Task Force the weekend off so he could catch up on some much needed sleep. 

He needed to stay up a little longer, however. Light warned him that he was coming back to change him. Light did not tell him when he would come back, but L did not want to fall asleep before then. It was a losing battle, he knew that, and before he knew it, he was lightly dozing in front of his laptop.

L's bladder gave a small tug, which pulled him out of the doze, and he whined. His lower abdomen was still sore from holding for so long earlier. With no one else around, it was easy to let go and pee into his diaper. His diaper was just starting to feel damp, but not uncomfortably so yet. It could last a couple more wettings before becoming uncomfortable. He just hoped that Light would show up before then. 

L was not aware that he fell asleep again nor for how long, but he soon felt someone shake him awake. 

"Wakey wakey, L," L heard Light say. 

"I'm awake," L said, rubbing his eyes and looking around the room. His laptop was closed, presumably because of Light, but everything else was in its place. 

"When did you fall asleep?" Light asked. 

"Not sure," L said, looking up at Light, "just kind of dozed." 

"Hmm, you're that sleepy, hu?" Light practically cooed, running a hand through L's hair. 

As much as L wanted to lean into the touch, he did not. He leaned back so that Light could not touch him anymore. "Yeah, I'm tired," L honestly replied. He was too tired to lie right now. 

Light smiled when L told him the truth, which he only seemed to do when he was tired. Maybe he could get L to tell him the truth about something else. 

"Have you eaten yet?" Light asked. L shook his head. He was not sure the last time he ate. Watari normally made sure that he ate, no matter if all he wanted to eat was sweets. He was a little hungry. 

Light sighed, "L."

L choked his head. Light sounded… disappointed. Why did that make a pang go through his chest? The man shook his head and lifted his thumb to his mouth to bite on his nail. He should not care how Light spoke to him, as long as Light changed him. 

"Do you have any normal food?" Light asked. He had been trying to get L to eat "normal food" ever since he figured out that L lived off of sweets. 

"Not unless you want to steal something from the Task Force," L said. 

Light shook his head. He planned on getting L to eat something that was not sweet by this time tomorrow, though that may take a lot of patience. 

"What do you want then?" Light said, walking to the kitchen. L hopped off his chair to follow him.

"May I have some milk?" L asked. Light smiled at the way L asked. L was surprisingly polite when he wanted to be. 

"You need more than just milk, but sure," Light said. 

"Is there any Strawberry cake?" L asked.

"Yeah," Light nodded, pulling out the half-eaten cake. He cut a big slice of the cake and pulled out a fork. The thought of going to get a sippy cup for L's milk did cross Light's mind, but he did not feel like dealing with L's whining right now. Light would rather feed L, change him, and get him to bed as soon as possible with the least amount of road bumps as possible, so he took out a tall glass and filled it with milk. 

"Milk," L said, reaching out for said milk. He was still standing in the doorway, looking like he might fall over at any moment. It was kind of cute how sleepy he looked. It made him look… human. 

"Come sit down and drink your milk," Light instructed, placing L's cake and milk on the table and sitting down. L hesitated a second before staggering over to the table. L sat on the chair next to Light like a normal person before bringing his knees to his chest. He picked up the milk glass with two hands and gulped it down. 

"Slow down," Light said, reaching out to grab the cup, "there's more milk, and I'll get you more if you want. You're not gonna run out." 

L nodded and let Light tip back the glass so that he took smaller sips. Once it was all gone, Light took it away from the other man's (possibly boy's) mouth. When L did not ask for more, he placed the glass on the table. 

L picked up his fork, ready to dig into his cake. Then, his fork disappeared. L's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his tired mind not able to process that Light must have taken his fork until he saw it in the smirking man's hand. 

"Hey," L whined, pouting and reaching for his fork. For all of his fighting to not regress all day, now he was simply too sleepy to fight. He was not fully regressed, but he was closer to little than big, much like the previous night. 

"Gimme," L demanded, but Light did not listen. He held the fork out of L's reach, smirking when L dropped his arms. "I'm hungry," L said, looking at Light with pleading eyes. Why was Light being so mean to him? He just wanted to eat and go to bed. 

"I know," Light said, using the fork to cut off a piece of the cake, stabbing it with the prongs, and lifting it to the boy's mouth.

"I can do it," L protested, trying to reach for his fork again. 

Light blocked the reaching hand and pushed it down, holding it there. "I know that, but let me help you eat." 

"I let you help last night," L said, headspace swinging back to the adult side, "and look where we are now." 

Light knew that he was talking to Ryuzaki now. There was a certain gleam in L's eyes when he was regressed or more regressed than not that he did not have when he was Ryuzaki. Light wondered how he could get L to regress fully; he could tell that L was holding back his headspace around him. 

"Yes, I now have photos that I could send to the entire Task Force anytime that I want to. So, now you have to let me help," Light said, "so now open up and eat." 

L's mouth stayed firmly shut for a couple of minutes, staring into Light's eyes. They engaged in a stare-down for a few minutes. It was a power play. They were seeing who would give in first. It was a game. A battle that neither were willing to lose. If Light let L win, that would mean giving up the power and control he had over L. It would communicate that L did not have to listen to him and that if he did not listen, then Light would not do a thing. If L let Light win, then that would mean him giving up a bit more control and handing it over to Light. Light already had control over his toileting and already had the power to make him feel humiliated. It should be easy to give over this bit of control, at least for a little while, but it was not for L. 

Light saw the shift in L once he reached the number 348 in his head, the gleam returned to L's eyes. Once he reached 360, he broke eye contact. Light did not say anything, for fear that his words would cause L to bring his guard up again. He waited. By 421, L finally opened his mouth.

"Good boy," Light whispered, putting the fork in L's mouth. L wrinkled his nose at the words but closed his mouth around the fork and chewed his cake once Light took the fork away. 

"You don't need to be that stubborn, L," Light said, picking up another bite of the cake, "all you have to do is listen and let me take care of you. You can't claim that you don't like it at least a little bit."

"I don't like the blackmail or wearing diapers in front of the team," L grumbled, accepting the fork full of cake. 

'Didn't say he did not like the care,' Light thought. 

"Well, that will be too bad," Light said, "just relax, L. I'm not going to hurt you." 

"Somehow, I don't believe that," L said, accepting another fork full. 

For some reason, that… hurt. He was not planning on ever hurting L. Light would kill him, but he would not be cruel and hurt him before. L was still a human, a human that was unfortunately in his way. 

Light did not say anything as he continued to feed L his cake slowly. By the time L was done, he was once again docile and almost asleep at the table. Light picked up the dishes and put them in the sink that was already full of them. He should make L do the dishes. Watari would be gone for a few more days, and most of the dishes were L's anyway.

Light turned back to L, whose head was bobbing up and down every few seconds. It was obvious that the boy would not last too much longer. He would have L do the dishes in the morning. 

"C'mon, L," Light said gently, "let's get a diaper change, then off to bed," 

L made a noise but did not attempt to move for a few seconds. Once he was to his feet, he whimpered and fell forward. Thankfully, Light was there to catch him so that he did not fall to the ground. 

"Hey, L," Light said, awkwardly holding onto the boy. He was expecting L to push away from him, but he did not. He stayed in Light's arms. 

"I'm sleepy," L said, rubbing his eyes. He just wanted to sleep. 

"I know," Light said, sympathy entering his tone that was not faked, "okay, up we go," Light effortlessly lifted L up into a bridal hold. 

"What're you doin'?" L grumbled, thumb making its way to his mouth. He rested his head against Light's chest. It felt nice. 

"Well, it doesn't seem like you can walk right now, Little Guy," Light explained, not too sure where the nickname came from, "so I'm carrying you." 

"Okay," L said, not sure what else he could say.

"I'm gonna lay you down on the floor and get your diaper so we can get it changed," Light explained before doing just that. 

"Change?" L asked, now sucking on his thumb. 

"Yeah, Little Guy, I'm changing your diaper," Light said, "do you want your teddy and pacifier?" 

"Yeah, and my blanket, please?" L asked. 

"Sure," Light asked while thinking why L could not always be like this. If L were always like this, he would not have to kill him. 

Light kneeled next to the boy with his diaper and comfort items. Light first handed L his teddy and blanket, which L immediately attached to his chest. Light then took L's thumb out of his mouth with a pop, and he pressed his pacifier to the boy's lips. L opened his lips and sucked in his pacifier. L hummed sleepily and suckled.

"Good boy," Light said, noticing that there was no protest that came from L at the words, but that could be because he was too tired to care. 

"Can you lift up, L?" Light asked. L lifted his hips a couple of inches off the ground, which was all that he could manage. 

Light pulled L's pants down and off. L was not going to sleep in jeans. The diaper was soaked, but Light did not remove it yet. He looked up at L, whose eyes were closed and face was a peace. 

"Hey, L," Light whispered, causing L to open his eyes. The boy made a noise of inquiry, wondering why he kept being dragged out of his sleep. 

"Do you have to go potty?" Light asked. 

L blushed lightly but shook his head, "no potty." 

"Okay," Light nodded his head, "let's get you changed." 

L nodded, closing his eyes again, listening when Light asked him to lift his hips. Once Light said all done and was lifting him up again, L was mostly asleep. He shifted slightly in Light's arms so that he could be in a more comfortable position, but then relaxed. 

The boy felt himself being put down on a soft surface. A bed, his sleepy brain supplied. Then, he was engulfed in fuzzy warmth and then more weight. Light was covering him up and tucking him in. That felt nice. L curled up into a tight ball so that he could feel safer and suckled on his pacifier and held his Sakura to his chest. 

L felt someone (Light) climb into the bed behind him. L groaned and rolled over to his other side so that he was facing Light. He did not like people behind him. The boy felt Light wrap an arm around him much like the previous night, then heard the humming from the night before too. L wanted to ask what the song was but was too sleepy to form words. He would ask Light tomorrow what the song was. Yeah, tomorrow, he was supposed to be sleeping now. 

That was the last thought that L had before drifting off into a deep sleep. 

Light looked down at L when he heard soft snores from the boy. Light ran his fingers through his hair and pulled him in a little closer. He would stay for a few more minutes and make sure that L was truly asleep. 

The next thing Light knew, he did not want to move, and he closed his eyes, telling himself that he would leave in just a few minutes. 

A few minutes turned into never as Light joined L in dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, L does something that he knows he isn't supposed to do and is given an ultimatum.


	5. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L does something he knows he is not supposed to do and gets a spanking.

Routine- that was one thing in life that L needed. It helped keep him sane. Without it, he would get anxious and scared. No matter how detailed, a routine helped calm his anxiety because he knew what was going to happen next. He was worse about it when he was a child. When L was a child, he would need his days planned out by the hour and would throw violent tantrums when it was disrupted. As he got older, his reliance on schedules was less severe, but he still liked them. 

A routine that he refused to admit that he liked when the nighttime routine that Light made up. He would enter the hotel room, make L save whatever he was working on, and close his laptop. Light would get him to eat some “normal food,” typically feeding him. God, he did not want to admit that he liked it, and it would make him slip ever so slightly around a five-year-old. He wished that he could regress fully. This half regression was taking a toll on him. L had to control himself to not yell at the team on a couple of occasions, and he found that all he wanted to do was regress so that he was a baby (not a five-year-old) and just snuggle with Sakura and his blankie and suckle on his pacifier. He got to do that when Light would put him to bed, but it was not the same. It was nice that Light was there and that he gave him cuddles (he did not want to think about how Light is his sworn enemy at those moments), but it still was not the same. In the back of his mind, he wished that he could regress fully in front of Light and have the younger man take care of him, but at those moments, he reminded himself that this was just a game to Light. It was a power play. He did not care about L. All Light cared about was L’s humiliation. That was evident when Light bought him very feminine diapers. 

“I’m not a girl,” L said, pushing the light pink and bunny covered diaper away from him with a bright blush. 

“I didn’t say that you were a girl,” Light told him with a smirk like he knew that L would react this way. He picked up the diaper and tried to push L down. 

“I don’t want that one,” L said, struggling against Light to stay upright, “get one of my normal diapers, please.” 

“We don’t waste diapers, remember, L,” Light said as he was able to get L to lay down. 

“It’s not my fault,” L responded, face hot because of Light wanting to force him into such a girly thing, “you’re the one who bought them.” 

“Still, you can’t waste them,” Light said, “it’s just a diaper, L. You go to the bathroom in it. It’s no different than your dinosaur diapers or space diapers.” 

“Yes, it is,” L whined, covering his face with his blanket so that Light could not see his likely bright red face, “and you know it.” 

Light laughed at him, and L felt his stomach churn, and he started to shake. Light must have noticed because he stopped untapping his wet diaper and rubbed his exposed belly. L tensed at the touch.

“Hey, just relax,” Light whispered, “it’s just a diaper.” 

L, still covered by his blanket, asked, “why are you trying to be comforting all of a sudden? You knew I would react like this. Just put the stupid diaper on so we can get back to work, you fucking sadist.” 

“I’m not a sadist,” Light said, sliding the new, girly diaper under his butt. 

“Yes, you are, Light,” L said, “you derive pleasure, sexual or otherwise, from humiliating me.” 

“It’s not sexual,” Light replied, like that made it any better. In a way, it did. At least Light was not sexualizing this. 

“Still a sadist,” L insisted. 

“You can call me whatever you like, but that doesn’t make it true,” Light said, not putting L’s pants on yet. 

“Just put my pants on so we can get to work,” L grumbled, uncovering his face slightly, not daring to look at the diaper now tapped on his hips. He just calmed down the embarrassment. If he looked at the diaper, he would get all flustered again.

“Ask nicely, and I might,” Light said with a smirk. 

“Please,” L sniped. At least Light had not made him beg for a change. L was not sure that his pride would let him do that.

“Please what?” 

“Put my pants back on.” 

“Could be nicer,” Light said but pulled his pants up anyway. Buttoning and zipping them, “but you are right, we do have work.” 

“I don’t like you,” L pouted as Light pulled him up, so he was standing. He pulled his shirt down so that he could make sure that no one would be able to see the diaper. L knew that he would be even more embarrassed if someone saw him wearing this diaper. The other ones, he might be able to say he had some sort of urinary incontinence or something and would only need to worry about if Watari saw. This one, however, he did not know what he would say. 

“I know you don't,” Light said with a smirk, “let’s go.” 

So, yes, it was just a game to Light, which hurt a lot more than it should. Possibly because this side of him was so vulnerable and needed care that L could not trust anyone to do. There was also the fact that L enjoyed the times where Light seemed to forget about embarrassing L and would get lost in really caring for L. 

“I’m not going to be back tonight,” Light said as he changed L about a week after this whole nightmare started.

“Why not?” L asked, sounding sad. Light noticed and felt a slight pang of guilt. He was the one who got L into a nighttime routine. He did not regret it for a second. While L was still getting about the same amount of work done on the case, he looked much better than he did just a week ago. Even Matsuda noticed that L was slightly more energetic, and the bruises under his eyes were fading slightly. 

“Because my sister has a late soccer game tonight, and there is no way that I am getting out of that,” Light told him, “plus my father is getting suspicious because I’ve been leaving late at night.” 

L looked hopeful for a second, “may I change myself?” 

“No,” Light said almost immediately, and he enjoyed the look of defeat on L’s face. Honestly, L was a lot more submissive (Light did not know how else to describe it) than he first suspected that he would be, but Light supposed that was because of the constant threat of the photos being leaked. “It’s nine. You should be fine until six. I could put you in two if you think you’ll need it.” 

L blushed at the thought and shook his head. He tried that once out of pure curiosity of how it would feel. It felt nice at first but soon made his hips hurt because of how far apart he needed to have his legs. He would rather not have his hips hurt during the weekend that he gave the Task Force off. He wanted to enjoy his weekend.

“Okay, then,” Light said with a nod, “you should be fine. I’ll come back tomorrow and change you.” 

“What if I leak?” L asked. 

“Then you leak,” Light replied. 

“You’re mean,” L pouted. He did not want to leak. 

“I know,” Light said with a smirk, “do you wanna get in bed. We could cuddle for a while before I need to go.” 

“It’s too early,” L pointed out. 

“I didn’t say that you needed to go to sleep,” Light said, “I know you like to cuddle,” and Light would never admit that he liked it too. 

“No,” L said, crossing his arms stubbornly. 

Light knew by L’s body language that he was lying. He did want to cuddle, but if the older man was not going to admit it, then there was no reason to pursue it. 

“Fine,” Light ruffled L’s hair as he walked out of the room, “I’ll be going then.

…

L hated to admit it, but he missed Light. He tried to tell himself that he was just that he missed the routine, but Light was such an intrinsic part of that routine that it was impossible not to miss him. Though he knew that Light would not show up, he was waiting for him. He was waiting for Light to step through the door, tell him to turn off the computer (have a little fight about it if he felt like it). Then Light would feed him something “normal,” then they would cuddle, and L would fall asleep. He wanted it so bad, and missed it and felt hurt when one in the morning came around and Light was not there yet. 

‘He’s not coming tonight,’ his brain rudely informed him.

Then, a different emotion swirled in L’s chest. Loneliness. He was lonely. He hated that feeling. It brought him back to a time long before Watari or Wammy’s House. When he was just a five-year-old little boy out on the streets because Mommy and Daddy decided that they did not want him anymore. He was a freak who did not smile or hug or show affection or talk. When L looked back on it now, he thought, how could he show or do those things when he was never taught. Then, when he was seven, Watari saved him. Watari found him digging through the trash and gave him a riddle. If he could solve it, he could have a warm meal and a place to stay for the night. L had looked at the man with untrusting eyes but nodded. L still remembered the riddle. 

“What word in the English language does the following: the first two letters signify a male, the first three letters signify a female, the first four letters signify a great, while the entire world signifies a great woman. What is the word?”

L had known what the word was but did not have a way to say it. When Watari asked him if he knew it, L nodded but did not open his mouth to say anything. Watari gave him a kind smile and pulled out a pad and pen. L took it and wrote the answer, “Heroine.”

“You are a smart boy,” Watari said, and L had no reaction to the older man taking his hand. Watari tested him with riddles and other questions on their walk to Wammy’s. When they finally got there, he said, “I believe you will fit in here well.” 

That was when L’s life changed him for the better. When L would not tell Watari his name (he had forgotten it by that point), he started calling him L. L had more toys than he knew what to do with and defended them with everything he had. He also did not have to worry about food, which was a hard lesson for L to learn. He also had Watari, who had been the key to finding his voice and taught him how to give and receive love. 

L shook his head, suddenly feeling very sad. L could not remember a time that he was away from Watari for this long. It was going on a week and a half that Watari was at Wammy’s, the problem not as easy to solve as he first thought it would be. L missed Watari more than he missed Light at the moment. He really wanted Watari, especially with everything that went on the past week. 

L kept telling himself that Watari would be back soon, and while he could not tell him what was going on, it would still be a comfort to have him there. 

Although there was a different part of him, that wanted Watari (and to a smaller extent Light) and wanted them right now, and felt like crying because he could not have them. That side of his brain understood why Watari had to go but was mad at Light for leaving. It was his fault that he wanted him to begin with. It was Light’s fault that he wanted to go to be fed. It was Light’s fault that he wanted to snuggle. It was Light’s fault that he wanted to go to sleep. It was Light’s fault that he was stuck in a very wet diaper and could not go to the bathroom like the big boy he was. 

Then L had a thought. If he was a big boy (and he was), then he should be able to change his own diaper. But Light did not want him to. Who cares about what Light wanted? Light left. Light was not here. He would not have any say in what L does as long as he is not there. Really he should not have any say at all, but he had those stupid pictures. Those pictures were why he could not change himself. Light would send them to Watari, and Watari would get mad at him and go away forever. L did not want Watari to go away forever. He wanted Watari to stay. He could not have Watari stay if he changed his diaper. 

It was about three in the morning, and a couple of wettings later when the thought of changing his diaper came back. His diaper was so uncomfortable and bulky and wet and cold and did not feel good. L did not like it. He wanted a change so bad, but he could not because of Light. It was not fair. It was no fair at all that he could not change. Plus, he had to go potty but did not think that he could without the diaper leaking. L looked at the clock. Three hours until Light showed up to change him. L was not sure he could last another three hours. He was so uncomfortable and knew he had an easy way to feel more comfortable. All he had to do was change.

But the photos. 

L found himself glaring at nothing as he clenched his fists. He hated those stupid photos. He hated Light. Light was mean to him for no reason. L did not care what Light did with the photos anymore. He just wanted out of this situation and out from under Light’s control. 

He wanted to change!

With that thought, L jumped off of his chair and walked into his room. He took his soiled diaper off and threw it in the trash, and he picked out one that was the same. He quickly changed into it. L thought of the consequences, of course, and found his stomach twisting harder and harder at the thoughts. 

He already had to go potty. With that thought, L let go and emptied his bladder into his diaper. It was nowhere near wet enough for Light to believe that he wore it all night long. So, L went into the kitchen and drank until his tummy was too full. 

Unfortunately for him, he could not wet that much before Light showed up at five instead of six. 

Light had to admit that he felt a little bad about leaving L high and dry (well wet, he supposed) all night, so he showed up a little earlier than planned. He doubted that L slept all night, so he might convince the detective to take a nap after a change. He would at least convince L to cuddle for a while. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed the cuddling the previous night and had hardly been able to fall asleep. 

“Hey L,” Light said when he answered. L was in front of his computer, probably had been all night. L jumped and turned around to look at him. 

“Hello, Light,” L said simply. 

“Do you want a change?” 

It would have been odd to say no, so L nodded with a “yes.” 

They walked into the bedroom, L slightly behind Light. “Lay down,” Light instructed. Light noticed that L hesitated a moment, which was weird. The man should be eager for a change. Why was he hesitating? 

Light pushed his questions back and kneeled down next to L, and took off his pants. When he looked at the diaper, he froze. The tapes were not in the position that Light taped them, and it was nowhere near as wet as Light was expecting—the stars were barely faded. Light looked toward the trash and saw that there was a diaper in there that was the same brand that L had on. 

He looked back toward L, and though he felt angry, he asked calmly, “did you change yourself.” 

L gulped at the question and shook his head. 

“You’re already on thin ice, Mister,” Light said, in a tone similar to the one a parent would use with a child that was not listening, “I would suggest you don’t lie.” 

“Yes, I changed,” L said after a second of delay. 

“Why?” Light snapped.

“I-I,” L stammered, stomach twisting. Light was mad at him. He was going to send the photos. L put on a blank face though he was scared. 

“After L told you not to,” Light then pulled out his phone, “I guess I have no other choice.” 

“No, please don’t,” L said, sitting up and bringing his knees to his chest, his calm facade breaking under the pressure. 

“What else can I do?” Light asked, “I gave you specific rules, and you knew the consequences.” 

“Please don’t,” L pleaded, eyes burning, “I won’t do it again. I’ll do whatever you want, just please don’t send the photos.”

Light hummed, seemingly considering L’s words, “you are childish. Perhaps a childish punishment could work.” 

“What do you mean?” L asked, hoping that Light meant a time out or no sweets. That’s how Watari punished L when he was bad as a child. The look on Light’s face told L that was not what the man was planning. 

“I think you need a spanking, L,” Light said with a smirk, crossing his arms over his chest, enjoying when the other man’s eyes went wide and shook his head. 

“I don’t want…” L was cut off by Light. 

“It’s either a spanking or the photos, L,” Light said. L looked so pitiful at his feet with a wet diaper on and shaking in fear. It was pitiful, and Light almost did take pity on him. He might have taken pity on L if he were regressed, but L and Ryuzaki were different. Ryuzaki did not deserve his pity. 

“H-How many?” L asked.

Light hummed, thinking about it, “how about fifteen? Ten for changing yourself and five for lying.” 

“Fine,” L said with a tiny whine. He did not want the spanking, but a little bit of hurt now would be worth it to not have Watari find out. 

“Get over here, then,” Light said, sitting on the couch. 

L stood, biting his thumb, “can I have my pacifier or Sakura, please?” 

“No,” Light said coldly, “no comfort items during a punishment.” 

L wanted to argue with Light that that was too cruel but knew that he was already in enough trouble, so he shuffled toward Light. Once he was close to Light, the man grabbed him and pushed him down so that he was face down on his lap with his bottom in the air. L bit back a whimper and clung to the couch cushions. He squirmed, unable to remain still. 

“Hey,” Light snapped, hitting L’s diaper-clad bum with a dulled thunk. L stilled though it did not hurt, the message heard clear. “Don’t squirm, or you’ll earn more.” 

L nodded, not trusting his voice. 

Light pushed down L’s diaper so that his pale ass was bare, “I want you to count. If you can’t, we’ll start over.” 

L whined but nodded, “Okay.” 

L’s skin prickled painfully as Light lifted his hand and brought it down against his ass, hard. L fought the urge to not gasp as pain exploded on his right cheek. Light wasn’t going to go easy on him, and L did not expect him to. 

“One.” 

Light lifted his hand and brought it back down against L’s opposite cheek. 

“Two.” 

“Three,” L counted, already feeling tears well up in his eyes. He wanted to cry, but he held back. 

“Four, five, six,” came in quick succession, right where his bottom met his leg. It hurt, and L could not help the tears that escaped his eyes. In the recesses of his mind, his little side was screaming and saying “owie” over and over again. It wanted to burst forward, but he pushed it back. He could not slip right now. 

“Seven,” L gasped, fighting the urge to squirm to get away from the burning pain. He didn’t want to earn any more spankings. It hurt! 

“E-Eight,” L cried, his mind feeling fuzzy. His little side was creeping upon him, and it was getting harder and harder to fight back. 

“N-Nine,” L cried harder, tiny sods leaving his chest. 

It was almost like Light was urged on by L’s cries of pain and hit harder than the other nine, right in the spot that was already burning. L sobbed out and felt himself drop deep into little space. L wailed loudly, moving his hands to try and cover his butt. He had enough. It hurt too much. He did not remember what he did, but he would never do it again.

L felt Light move his hands out of the way, grasping his wrists and pulling back, “count,” Light demanded. 

“T-Ten,” L managed past his sobs.

“‘Weven,” L counted. 

By the time the twelfth spank came down on his butt, L could not count anymore. He could not do anything but wail. The only thought coursing through his mind is that he wanted the pain to stop. The baby’s body moved of its own accord, trying to angle away from Light. He kicked his legs in response to another slap. 

L then felt himself be lifted by strong arms. His diaper was pulled up to its proper place before he was maneuvered to that he was in someone’s (Light’s) lap and his head cushioned against Light’s chest. As much as L wanted to take the comfort because he was upset because his bottom was an owie, and he did not like that at all, he did not. He could not. Light gave him the owies. He did not want Light anymore. 

“No, no,” L cried, pushing Light, trying to get out of his arms, “don’ wan’. Don’ wan’. ‘Oo meanie. ‘Oo meanie.” 

“Shh,” Light cooed. L felt him start to rock. Light continued to mumble sweet nothingness into L’s ear. Despite himself, he relaxed slightly, pushing away from Light while also clinging to his shirt. He didn’t know what he wanted. He just wanted the owies to go away. 

L suddenly felt himself being lifted into the air. L whined and held on tighter. He did not want to fall. L continued to cry into Light’s shoulder. Then he felt something being pressed against his lips. Through blurry vision, he saw his paci, and he opened his mouth and suckled. The motion instantly brought his comfort. He felt fuzzy on his arm and saw his Sakura. L cooed, snuggling his Sakura to his chest. 

L cried into Light’s chest for five more minutes until he was able to calm down his sods. He looked up to Light’s face, tears still streaming down his face. Light looked sad. The baby cocked his head to the right and poked Light’s face. 

“Wight sad,” L said with confusion in his tone. 

“Because I made Baby sad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Light will take care of a very upset and regressed L. Snuggles and kind words and feelings ensue.


	6. Regression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L is regressed and Light needs to take care of a very clingy baby. He does not mind it one bit.

Light smirked as L walked over to him. He was so reluctant walking toward a much earned punishment. And he did deserve this punishment, Light thought, trying to catch him, stop him from making the perfect world and trying to kill him. Yes, L deserved this and so much more. 

L stopped a few feet away from him, seemingly unable to take another step. Light smirked and grabbed him around the waist, and forced him across his lap. Light heard L gasp and saw him grasp the couch cushions. L squirmed in his lap, and that would not do. He could not very well deliver the punishment if L was not still. 

So, Light snatched his waist to hold him still and hit L's diaper-clad ass with firm, "hey," L stilled instantly, "don't squirm, or you'll earn more."

L nodded, still hiding his face on the couch. 

“I want you to count. If you can’t, we’ll start over," Light explained as he pulled L's diaper off. He was not going to go easy on the man. He needed to learn his lesson. 

L whimpered but said, "okay."

Light made sure that he had a firm hold on L as he lifted his hand and brought it down on the right side of L’s ass. 

L jolted slightly and counted “one” in an all too calm voice. 

Light lifted his hand again, deliberately bringing his hand down harder on his opposite cheek. 

“Two,” L gasped, “three.” 

L’s face was still hidden, but by time the seventh hit came around, Light could tell that L was crying. Light pushed down the guilt that he felt at making L cry. He deserved this, and he would snuggle him after 15. They were nearly half way through. 

“E-Eight. N-Nine,” L stammered out the numbers, tiny sobs leaving his mouth. In a morbid way the crying and sobbing and stuttering only served to egg him on. Light brought his hand up and aimed at a patch that was already red. He brought his hand down hard and fast. 

L let out a deep sob at the smack. Then, it was like something snapped in L. He let out several, high pitched cries and his hands flew so that they covered his ass. Light glared at L’s small act of defiance and grasped both of L’s tiny wrists in his hand and pulled them away from his ass.

“Count,” Light demanded with a smirk. It seemed he had finally broken the great detective L to sobs. 

“T-Ten,” L stammered. His voice sounded different, but Light paid little mind to it, thinking that it was simply because L was so upset. They would definitely need a cuddle after this. 

“‘Weven,” L wailed. 

Light smacked again and that seemed to break something else in L. The crying was louder than ever and he squirmed so that it was angled away from Light’s hand. The sudden movement caused L to nearly slip off of Light’s lap. Thankfully, Light was able to pull L up. L kicked at the movement and his cries never slowed. 

Light remembered the last time he heard these cries. L cried just like this on the first night, when Light learned that he did this regression. He could not have pushed L into his little head space could he have? How long had he been spanking little L and not Ryuzaki? That thought made him sick to his stomach. He needed to fix this. Sure, he enjoyed the power and control he has over Ryuzaki, but he did not want to hurt him while he was regressed. 

So, Light did the only thing that he could think of, he pulled L’s diaper up so that it covered his butt and probably provided some much needed cushion. He then gathered the baby in his arms so that L was sitting in his lap. Light held L’s head to his chest and ran his fingers through his hair. 

L relaxed for a second before trying to squirm out of his arms, pushing against Light’s chest, “no, no. don’ wan’. Don’ wan’. ‘Oo meanie. ‘Oo meanie.”

As much as Light hated to admit it, it broke his heart hearing L say that to him. Light, however, was not going to leave him again, so he held L a little tighter and whispered, “shh. Everything’s okay,” in L’s ear and started to rock, hoping to soothe the baby. “All done, L. It’s all done.” 

Light continued to rock and soothe the baby until he relaxed somewhat, both clinging and pushing away. As if he did not know if he wanted to accept Light’s attempt at comfort or reject it. Light was going to make L accept it. 

With that thought Light stood with L still in his arms. He smiled when he felt L hold on tighter and heard his whine of distress. Light picked up L’s pacifier and pressed it against the baby’s lips. The baby immediately opened his mouth to accept it. Light then handed him his teddy bear which L cooed at (cute) and held it to his chest. 

While the comfort items seemed to settle L slightly, he was still crying loudly. He seemed to finally be accepting Light’s comfort as he was snuggled into his chest. Light continued in his attempts to soothe L, holding him close and whispered soothing nothingness into his ears while bouncing him gently and rubbing his back. 

Eventually, his efforts paid off as L’s sobs finally stopped. L let out a few sniffles before looking up at Light’s face. His eyes were bloodshot with tears still streaming down his bright pink cheeks, and his nose was runny and red. Despite all of that he looked at Light with an investigating eye and cocked his head to the right like a confused puppy. L poked his face and said, “Wight sad.” His voice sounded so confused and high-pitched, not to mention the way L was his name. It was cute. 

“Because I made Baby sad, “ Light answered honestly. 

L then did something that Light did not expect, he gave him a hug. A tight one, like he did not want Light to be sad. Light sighed, standing with L in his arms for a few more minutes, simply holding him. 

“Hey L,” Light said after a few seconds. 

L hummed in question, unwilling to let go of Light. After being so upset and hurt, he just wanted some comfort. 

“Do you have any Aloe?” Light said. 

L looked up at Light with confused eyes once again. 

“In da bafwoom,” L said around his pacifier, returning his head to Light’s shoulder as he pointed to the room. 

“Okay, let’s go get some,” Light said.

“Why?” L asked.

“For your bottom,” Light explained. 

It seemed that was the wrong thing to say as the baby’s eyes widened and filled with tears again. L whimpered, “no. No mowe ‘pankin’s, pwea’. I-I be good,” L promised, terrified that Light was going to make him hurt more. His bottom still burned. 

Shit, was Light’s only thought and he rushed to explain, “no, no, hey. You’re right, L, no more spankings.” 

“No mowe?” L said with a tiny sniffle. 

“Yes, Buddy, no more,” Light assured, then thought that he should explain what the aloe was for since L obviously had no clue, “it’ll help your bottom stop hurting.” 

“Oh,” L said, relaxing back into Light. 

Light smiled softly as he felt L relax into him. He ran a hand through L’s soft hair.

“No down,” L whimpered, clinging to Light as the man tried to place him on the floor, “I no down, pwea’.” 

Light sighed, it would be difficult to look around for the aloe with L hugging him like a Koala Bear, but Light did not want to risk further upsetting L, so he let L cling. Thankfully, it did not take long for Light to find the gel and carry the baby back into the bedroom. 

“Okay, let’s get your diaper off then we will make you feel a bit better, okay?” Light said, sitting down on the bed with L in his lap. L nodded but made no move to get up. “You’re gonna have to stand so I can take your diaper off.” 

L made a noise of disapproval and shook his head. He liked being in Light’s arms. They were strong and warm and they made L feel safe although Light just hurt him. He was trying to make it all better.

“Yes,” Light said, pushing L away to try and force him to stand, “the sooner we can apply the aloe and get you changed, the sooner we can snuggle.” 

“Baby cwo’es?” L asked as he stood. 

Light, who had no idea what the baby said, asked, “baby what?” as he peeled the tapes free from the diaper. 

“Baby cwo’es,” L repeated tugging on his white shirt, “cwo’es.”

“Oh, you wanna wear something from your safe?” Light asked, removing L’s diaper. 

L smiled as Light understood his words, “yeah, pwea’.” 

“Sure, L,” Light said, “okay, over my lap and I’ll put the aloe on your bottom.” 

“Otay,” L said with a tiny nod, laying down, belly first on Light’s lap. Light squeezed blue gel into his palm before beginning to spread it across the red of L’s bum. L gasped and flinched as the contact. 

“Shh,” Light soothed, using his other hand to rub up and down L’s back, “it’s okay, it’ll feel better in a second.” 

Light was right, the gel did soothe the burn and soon L relaxed. He played with his Sakura, making her move and cooing to her while he suckled his pacifier. Light smiled at the baby’s adorable actions, and once he was done, he patted L’s back. 

“Okay all done,” Light sat.

L squirmed off of Light lap, “I up,” he lifted his arms like a toddler and made grabby hands toward Light. 

“Sure,” Light said, placing the baby on his hip, never more thankful for how little L weighed. 

“Wants dis,” L said, taking one a onesie. It was a long sleeve with a white background. It had several happy dinosaurs on it- a green Tyrannosaurus Rex, baby blue Brontosaurus, dark blue Triceratops, yellow Stegosaurus, red Pterodactyl, and an orange Stegosaurus. 

“Okay, lets get you a diaper,” Light said, picking out one of his dinosaur diapers, “we should get you dinosaur sweatpants.” 

“Yeah!” L exclaimed with an enthusiastic nod, “wants.” 

Light chuckled at the baby’s enthusiasm. Light knew what he was doing later. 

“Okay, let’s get you changed,” Light said, placing L down on the floor. L did not look very happy about being placed down, frowning passed his pacifier, but he did not say anything, playing with his Sakura as Light began to change him. 

“Lift your hips,” Light asked, sliding the diaper under his bottom and tapping it up. 

“Okay, shirt on,” Light said, helping the baby sit up so that he could put the shirt on then asked him to lift up one more time so that he could snap the buttons over L’s diaper. 

“Snuggies,” L said, opening his arms to Light. Light smiled and gathered the baby in his arms, still sitting on the floor. L cooed happily snuggling into Light’s chest. 

“Wight?” L asked a few seconds later, tapping his shoulder. 

“What’s up, Little Guy?” Light asked, looking down at the baby. 

“I fiw’ty,” L said with a slight pout, “I gets baba, pwea’.” 

“You want a bottle?” Light asked.

“Yeah,” L said, “milks.” 

“Sure,” Light told him, standing up with the baby to retrieve his bottle, “do you wanna warm up your milk?” 

“Pwea’,” L said with a nod. 

Light walked into the kitchen, feeling slightly awkward carrying the baby in the place that they normally worked, but that did not matter. The baby wanted a bottle and he would get it. 

“No down, pwea,” L pouted when Light attempted to sit him down on a chair, “wants uppies.” 

“I don’t know if I can carry you and get your bottle made at the same time,” Light explained. 

“I helps,” L said, taking the bottle out of Light's hand and attempting to take the nipple off. He couldn’t. L pouted at Light and the man chuckled at the pout, unscrewing the lid. L lit up, “see I helps.” 

Light smiled and shook his head, “okay, you can help.” 

“Yay!” L said with a bright smile. Light decided that he liked L’s smile, even if it was slightly hidden by his pacifier. 

Together, they made L a bottle of milk and Light put it in the microwave for a few seconds to warm it up. While waiting for his bottle, L yawned widely and hid his face in Light’s shoulder.

“Sleepy, Buddy?” Light asked, playing with L’s hair. 

“No sweepies,” L denied. 

“So, if I say lets snuggle and watch cartoons after your bottle, you’d say no?” Light asked with a smile, knowing what the baby’s answer would be. 

“No,” L said with a pout, “I wants dat, pwea.” 

“Okay,” Light said, “only if you don’t fight your sleep.”

“Fine,” L pouted. They both knew that the baby would not keep his promise. 

“Don’t pout at me,” Light scolded, “I just want you to sleep.”

“Baba,” L cheared, pointing toward the microwave when it beeped, not wanting to think about going ni-ni. He just wanted his baba. 

“Can you help me get the lid on?” Light asked. 

“Yeah,” L nodded, holding onto the bottle while Light put the lid on, “I helps,” L smiled brightly.

“Yeah, you helped,” Light told him, “good boy.” 

Instead of wrinkling his nose at the phrase like he normally did, L lit up like the sun at the praise. “I good?” 

“You are very good, Buddy,” Light assured. 

L smiled, hugging Light and snuggling deep into his chest.

“Where do you want to drink?” Light asked, rubbing the baby’s back. 

“In da bed,” L said, “watch ‘toons, pwea’?”

“Sure,” Light said, carrying him to the bedroom. 

“Waptop,” L said, reaching for it as they passed it, “‘toons.” 

“What cartoon do you want?” Light asked, sitting on the bed and opening the laptop. 

“I does it,” L told him, tapping on his laptop before settling on a cartoon, “I wants dis,” L said, clicking on a brightly colored cartoon. 

“Wight does baba,” L said, snuggling to Light’s chest, taking his pacifier out and opening his mouth. 

“Okay,” Light said, wrapping an arm around the baby so that L’s head rested on his shoulder and placed the nipple of the bottle into the baby’s waiting mouth. L hummed as he started to suckle and closed his eyes as the warm milk touched his tongue. His cartoon became background noise. 

L suddenly felt very sleepy as Light covered him with his blankie. He snuggled in a little deeper and held onto Light’s shirt tightly, not wanting to have to worry about Light going away when he closed his eyes. 

“Aww,” Light said, rocking slowly, “poor sleepy baby.”

L made a noise of protest. He was not sleepy. He was not going to go ni-ni. He was going to snuggle with Light and watch cartoons. No ni-ni. 

“Shh,” Light cooed, looking down at the baby. He looked so adorable like this, curled up in his lap and suckling on a bottle. He would need to convince L to do this when he was big, or at least at night. “It’s okay. I’ll stay with you, Buddy.” 

“Wight’s Buddy,” L muttered, more to himself than to Light. 

“Yes, you’re my Buddy,” Light assured, rubbing L’s back. 

L was mostly asleep by time he was finished. Light gently pulled the bottle out of the baby’s mouth and when he whined, Light put his pacifier in his mouth. L hummed in appreciation and resumed suckling. 

“Go to sleep, Buddy,” Light said. 

“No ni-ni,” L whined, squirming so that could stay awake. He opened his heavy eyes, trying to focus on his cartoon, but he could not do it. His eyes felt heavy and he wanted to close his eyes. He did not want to go ni-ni. He whined again, kicking his legs to try and stay awake. 

“Shh,” Light cooed, holding his legs and playing with L’s hair, knowing that it would make L relax, “such a sleepy baby needs to go ni-ni.” 

“No sweepy baby,” L protested, though his eyes slipped closed and he relaxed into Light’s hold in response to the man playing with his hair. 

“Shh, my Buddy” Light muttered, not commenting on L’s words. He started to hum L’s lullaby. 

L whimpered holding his Sakura tighter and suckling his paci. Soon, Light’s humming and rocking became too much. He simply could not keep his eyes open anymore. He was too sleepy. Maybe he could go ni-ni. If Light did stay with him, he could go to sleep. Couldn’t he? 

Yes, he could. 

“Ni-ni,” L muttered before finally succumbing to sleep. 

“Night, Baby,” Light said to the sleeping bundle in his arms. Light turned so that he could lay down on his side with L still held securely in his arms. 

“Sweet dreams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK if next chapter will contain more Little L or have the introduction of Misa Misa. Perhaps both.


	7. Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L wakes up and he and Light continues to play. Later, Light needs to think

When L woke up, he yawned and looked around the room. Where was Light? Thankfully that question was answered quickly. Light was right beside him on his back. He was ni-ni, so L took that as an invitation to snuggle into Light’s side with his head pillowed on Light’s chest. He could hear Light’s heartbeat. He liked that. The baby then lifted Sakura so he could snuggle with her easier. 

L was unsure how long he was laying there, snuggling with Light, when he felt Light shift. He looked up to see Light open his eyes. The baby smiled at Light. He was awake!

"Hi, Wight," L greeted. 

"Hey, Buddy," Light smiled back, honestly surprised that L was still this regressed, but he was not going to complain. 

“Are we gonna get up?” Light asked when it seemed like L was more than content to keep snuggling. Light was not going to complain about the snuggling part, but he was starting to get hungry, and he knew that L would be wet since they had slept for nearly two and a half hours. 

“‘Tay, “ L sat up so that Light could stand, then lifted his arms, “uppie, pwea’.” 

Light smiled, lifting the baby onto his hip and saying, “let's get your diaper changed, then we can get something to eat.” 

“Cake?” L asked, looking up at Light with puppy dog eyes.

“Maybe later,” Light said, placing L down so that he could change his diaper, “first you need to eat some real food.” 

“No faiw,” L pouted. 

Light rolled his eyes, “whatever you say.” 

“Say no faiw,” L fussed. 

Light ignored the fussing and said, “I think we have some leftover soup.” 

“Does,” L nodded as Light lifted him back up. 

“Then we can have some soup for lunch,” Light said. 

“Den cake?” L asked.

“If you’re still hungry, yes,” Light said, knowing that he would not be able to get the baby off of the topic until he said yes. 

“‘Tay,” L said, smiling because he got his way (well, mostly). 

“You’re lucky you’re so cute,” Light said, poking the tip of L’s nose. The baby giggled, covering his nose with his hands. Light chuckled. 

Thankfully, L did not put up a fuss about being put down on a kitchen chair. Light could admit, at least to himself, that he did enjoy carrying L around and snuggling with him, but even he knew that he could not carry around a hundred and ten pounds all day. 

“What do you wanna do after lunch,” Light asked as he put a bowl in the microwave.

“Pway!” L exclaimed with a clap. 

“What do you wanna play with?” Light asked. 

“Caws,” L said, “wif Wight.”

“Sounds great, Buddy,” Light had tried to get L to play with his toys with minimal success. He normally glared at him and pouted. A few times, L played with his toys, but it was not much. 

“Yay!” L cheered. He would get to play with Light!

Light placed their bowls on the table. L looked at his bowl for a second before handing his spoon to Light. 

“Wight does it,” L said, “pwea.” 

Light smiled, “sure,” he took the spoon out of L’s hand and started to feed him. 

“Cake now, pwea,” L asked once he had finished his soup. 

Light sighed, “I guess a promise is a promise.” 

“Cherry,” L requested, “pwea’.” 

“Sure, Kiddo.” 

“Fank ‘oo,” L thanked with a smile. 

Light smiled back. He was starting to love L’s smile. 

…

“I down,” L said once they returned to L’s room. Light did not put him down. “Wight,” L whined with a pout, “I want down.” 

Light held on to the baby a little tighter when he tried to squirm out of his arms and bounced him, “what happened to wanting uppies?” Light teased. 

“I want downs,” L pouted, “want a pway. Pwea’ Wight?” 

“Okay, Buddy,” Light said, “I’ll put you down. Go get your cars.” 

“Caws,” L smiled, crawling over to the safe and pulling out his cars. 

“Wight pway,” L said when the man did not move to play with him. He took a red car and handed it to Light. 

“Sure, Buddy,” Light said. 

“Gets Wight’s caw,” L said, bumping into Light’s car with his. 

“Oh, I’m going to get L’s car now,” Light said, doing the same to L's car. 

“Elwie caw wun away!” L squealed. 

Light laughed. L was too cute, calling himself Ellie, and the way he was playing was so adorable. 

"Oh no, Ellie's car can't run away," Light said, chasing L's car, "I'm going to get Ellie’s car."

"No, Wight," L said, "no get Elwie caw."

"Oh yes, I am," Light teased. 

"No, wet's wace," L told him, holding his hands up.

"You wanna race now?" Light asked in a teasing tone with a smirk. 

"Yeah, wace caws!" L exclaimed, "stawt thewe," L pointed to the other end of the room. 

"Let's go!"

"Yay!" L crawled after Light. 

They continued to play. They only stopped when L needed a diaper change or a drink. Soon, much too soon in both L and Light's opinions, they had to stop the play for dinner and bedtime. 

“No,no bedtime,” L said, tears entering his eyes, “I no sweepy.” 

“But you got sleepy eyes,” Light said, rubbing the side of his face with his thumb. He had a bottle in his other hand. They were on the bed and L was in Light’s lap. 

“No,” L whined, “no wan’ ni-ni. Wight weave when ni-ni.” 

Light sighed, “yes, I gotta go home so that my family doesn’t get concerned,” he explained. 

“No,” L sniffled, tears streaming down his face, “don’ wan’ ‘oo go bye-bye. ‘Oo stay.” 

“I wish I could, Buddy,” Light said, tempted to get out his phone to tell his father that he was staying at a friend’s house because they lost track of time. He was eighteen, and his parents were starting to loosen up a little bit now that he was in university. 

“Shh, Buddy,” Light cooed, “I’ll come back tomorrow as soon as I can.” 

“How soon?” L asked.

“Before seven,” Light told him, “how about that?”

“No wate,” L asked, practically begged. 

“No, I won’t be late,” Light promised. 

L sniffled again, “no weave if big boy?”

Now, that question surprised Light. Honestly, he did not think about what he would do if L was back to his normal self the next day. He had not expected him to regress today, and was not sure what he was going to do that day with L. Light assumed that they would work on the case or something. He suddenly wished that L would be little the next day. The man could admit that he liked watching after the baby. It was like he could forget about the case (even about being Kira and killing L), and just relax. He felt more relaxed than he remembered being in a long time. Was that why L regressed like this? So that he could forget about the world for a while. It made since. 

“No, I won’t leave if you’re a big boy,” Light promised.

“‘Tay,” L said, “I go ni-ni.” 

“Good boy,” Light prised, “here, take your bottle.”

L opened his mouth and latched on.

“That’s it, Baby,” Light cooed with a smile. Yes, he was going to do this when L was big. 

“Good boy,” Light praised when L closed his eyes, “that’s it, go night-night. You don’t need to fight it. You don’t need to be stubborn. Just go ni-ni.” 

“Ni-ni,” L muttered.

Light hated to leave once L fell asleep, but he needed to go, no matter how hard it was. 

“I’ll be back tomorrow, Buddy,” Light promised the now sleeping baby before leaving to go home. 

…

Light, once again, did not sleep very well that night. He walked in, said hi to his parents, and said that he was going to sleep. He honestly was very tired. Taking care of the baby, while fun, was hard work and left him feeling worn out. Still, sleep did not come easily, his mind was running too fast. 

Two predominant thoughts ran through his mind. He enjoyed what he and L did that day and what was he going to do now. He liked playing with the baby, seeing him smile and hearing his giggles. He hated when L cried, it broke his heart to see the tears and hear his little sniffles or loud sobs. He did, however, like comforting him and assuring him that everything was alright. He liked cuddling with the baby, and even liked it when L was a little bit clingy. Clinginess was usually a pet peeve of his, but when L was clingy, it was cute. Like a little koala bear. He already enjoyed feeding L (and now that included bottle feeding him) and enjoyed the power he had over L when changing his diaper. But that is all it was about, power. Today, it was not about truly taking care of L. Just like one would do with a real child. The power, at least for a few hours, was the furthest thing from his mind.

So, that brought up his other thought- what was he going to do now? Emotions were involved now, at least with baby L. These emotions went beyond the anger that he usually felt when he thought about L, and they went past the joy that he felt when he had power and control over L. The emotions involved now were… Light did not even know how to describe them. All he knew was that he liked little L. He might even say that he did not want baby L to die. 

And that is where the problem laid. L had to die. That was just a fact. L was the only thing that was in his way. The only way that L would not have to die is if he joined Kira. Light did not see that ever happening. L was too adamant about bring Kira to “justice.” He was against Kira, and Kira making the new world that was safe for everyone to live. L was against justice. He wanted to kill Kira, kill Light. That is what he needed to focus on. He could not focus on how much he liked L while he was regressed or how much he did not want to kill that side of L. Sacrifices needed to be made while making a new world, and little L would have to be one of them. Unfortunately, there was no way that L would stay little or that he would join him, so he needed to die. 

Light knew that he should take tomorrow off to get his head back on straight. He did not need these emotions clouding his judgement with L. He should take the day off, write down more names as he missed the opportunity to do it today. If no criminals (or very little) died on days that Light spent time with L, then that would make him look more suspicious in the eyes of L. Of course, L would have to lie about what they were doing, and Light could not use the photos to keep him quiet about that. If Light used the photos against L to try and keep him quiet about that, it would make Light look that much more suspicious. 

Light, however, knew that he could not take the day off. One, he made a promise to the baby that he would be there for him at seven, and he did not want to break a promise to baby L. Even though L needed to die, he wanted to enjoy this for as long as possible, and knew that if he broke a promise to baby L, that could ruin any opportunity to take care of L like he did today. Not only that, it would break the trust that baby L had in him. If little L had that much trust in him, that would mean that he would be able to get big L to trust him. If he showed that he could be trusted with his little side, then that could make it easier to get closer to normal L and get information that could lead to his real name. Plus, with what happened at the beginning of the day, he wanted to reinforce that Light was the only one that could change his diapers if he was big. He wanted to reinforce the power that he had over L. 

Right now, he was in too deep to take a day off.

So, Light forced his mind to shut up so that he could get some sleep. The last thought that he had before he fell asleep was that he hoped that L was little the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter L will not be Little, sorry. I promise that there will be more baby L later in the story. IDK what will happen next chapter. We'll see when I write it.


	8. Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light talk like (mostly) civilized human beings.

Light arrived at the hotel at 6:30 in the morning. Light walked into L's room to see that he was still sleeping. He was curled up in a loose ball. His pacifier fell out of his mouth at some point in the night as it was on his pillow. His panda bear was on the floor. Light walked over to the bear and picked her up. He placed her in L's arms then climbed into bed. He made sure that he did not wake L. He held the older man.

About fifteen minutes later, L started to squirm in his arms. 

"Light?" L groaned, "you're back."

"Yeah," Light said. He wanted to say more, but L beat him to it. 

"I was little yesterday," L said like he was commenting on the weather. 

"Yeah," Light confirmed, "do you remember anything?" Light hoped that he did. 

"Bits and pieces. It'll all come to me later," L told him with a yawn, "I can tell that I was little more by the way I feel."

"How do you feel?" Light asked. Usually, when he asked personal questions like that, L would refuse to answer or told Light it was none of his business. Now, he did answer. 

"It's hard to describe," L muttered, still half asleep and therefore more open, "my brain feels all fuzzy and slow."

"How long does this normally last?" Light asked. 

"An hour or so. Taking a shower helps the fuzziness go away," L explained. 

"Do you wanna take a shower?" Light asked, rubbing L's back.

L shook his head, "morning snuggles first."

Light smiled. He was not sure when 'morning snuggles' became a thing, but one morning, Light insisted that they cuddle after L had a nightmare. The next day, L asked for a cuddle in the morning very reluctantly after Light asked him what was wrong for what felt like the thousandth time. 

"L, come on, man, it's obvious that something is bothering you," Light had told him.

"I'm fine," L had insisted.

"No, you're not," Light had said, "so, please tell me what's wrong.

"It's just, I," L had hesitated any other moment. 

Light had placed his hand on L's shoulder, "just tell me what's wrong."

"I wanna snuggle," L had said in a rush. 

"That's it?" Light had smiled, "we can snuggle if you want."

"I want to," L had said, still sounding like he did not want to admit it. 

"Then get over here," Light had told him, "we can snuggle for a little bit."

And they did until they could not anymore because it was time for the team to come to work. 

Now, about every other day, they had morning snuggles. Light supposed that he should not be surprised that today would be a day for morning snuggles. 

"Okay," Light said, "we can have some morning snuggles."

L simply hummed and snuggled closer. Light took the blanket, which had been pushed down around L's waist at some point during the night, and wrapped it around L's shoulders. 

"So, what do you remember?" Light asked. 

"Hmm," L hummed before answering, "remember the spanking and remember some of the playing. Remember being clingy. Sorry."

"Don't say sorry," Light said instantly, "I can't exactly blame you for being clingy after a punishment. It was kinda cute."

L blushed, "I don't wanna talk about it."

"We probably talk about it at some point," Light told him, "you need to regress sometimes, don't you?" 

"Yeah, sometimes," L said.

"How often?" Light asked. 

L, who was more awake because of the conversation, said, "don't worry about it."

"Well, that just makes me worry more," Light told him. L looked up at Light with questioning eyes. "Okay, Buddy, how about this. Everything that we say here is honest. No games, no tricks. I promise."

"And I'm just supposed to trust your word?" L said. 

"I've never broken a promise to you before," Light said, and he was not lying. He had never broken a promise to L. He was there right now because he promised L while he was regressed. 

L looked down and thought about it for a second. He then said, "I have a question before I answer yours."

"Okay, what's the question?" Light said, knowing that he would need to have some give and take if he wanted the information he needed. 

"Can I trust you with my little side?" L asked. 

"What?" Light said, surprised by the question, but when he thought about it, he supposed that he should not be. L was an extremely secretive and private person. The fact that he was even thinking about trusting Light to the most vulnerable part of himself was amazing in of itself. Amazing and stupid at the same time. Light could use this side of L against him. That thought made a small pang of guilt rush through his chest. He pushed it away. It was not like he was going to hurt baby L. He was just going to ask a few questions. There was nothing wrong with asking a couple of questions to someone that he was taking care of.

"As you know, this is an extremely vulnerable side of myself, and I need to make sure that it is protected," L explained. 

"Yes, I know, but you can trust me with your little side. I won't hurt you," Light promised. 

"You spanked me," L said, lifting his head off of Light's chest to look at him.

"Hey, you deserved that. It was a punishment. I'm not just going to bend you over my knee and spank you for no reason. Plus, I stopped the second I realized that you were regressed," Light said. 

L put his head back down on Light's chest, "because you made baby sad," L whispered. 

"What?" Light asked, wishing that L would look at him when they were talking like this. He could hardly hear L when he decided to mutter and was not looking at him. 

"Because you made baby sad," L repeated, "that what you told me when I asked why you were sad after you spanked me. You felt guilty for hurting my little side.” 

“I guess you’re not wrong,” Light said, “I mean, I never really wanted to hurt you, L, and I definitely did not want to hurt your little side. I just wanted you to learn your lesson.” 

L blushed at the choice of words. He nearly protested that he had no lesson to learn, but he thought better of it. Light certainly thought that he had a lesson to learn, and would probably do the same thing next time he thought that he needed to learn a lesson. He did not want to run the risk of being spanked again, so he said, “well, next time you think I have a lesson to learn, a time out will suffice.”

Light thought of that for a second. Was L giving him permission to punish him by giving him a time out? It made sense. While it would be embarrassing, Light would much rather be given a time out than a spanking if given a choice. Of course, he was not asking, but Light supposed that was an acceptable alternative to a spanking. It would help L learn a lesson without hurting him. 

“Well,” Light said, his voice taking on a teasing tone, “if you would just be a good boy, we would not have to worry about that, now would we?” 

L hummed, “I can’t be good all the time. You should know this by now, Light.” 

“Yes, well, last time I check, I still own you three spankings,” Light said with a teasing smirk. He was not actually going to spank L. He was just teasing him. 

L looked up with wide eyes, trying to decipher if Light was serious or not. He could not tell.

"No," L shook his head. He did not want any more spankings. 

“Oh, yes, I do,” Light said, going to sit up, "but how we are talking, I might put you in time out for a few minutes," he was not planning to do that either. 

"No, no," L's eyes widened, and he sat up with Light, "I learned my lesson, I promise. I promise I won't change myself again."

"What else?" Light asked. 

"I can't promise not to lie. You know that" L dropped his head. 

"Then in time out you go," Light said, moving to stand. 

L grabbed Light's shirt sleeve, "no Light, no. I don't want a time out! I'll be good."

Light turned back to look at L. He was pouting with Sakura held to his chest, he was tugging gently at his sleeve, and his eyes were full of tears. 

"Hey, hey, I'm just teasing, L," Light said, dropping the act, pulling L back into an embrace. He picked up L's pacifier and pressed it to L's lips. The man latched onto the pacifier and suckled, comforted by the motion and Light's arms. "I'm not going to put you in time out. 

"Promise?" L asked, not moving from his spot on Light's chest. 

"Yes, Buddy, I promise," Light said, "I was just joking."

"That was mean, Light," L whined.

"I know," Light said, "I'm sorry."

"You said no games," L pouted. 

"That wasn't a game," Light said, "I was just joking."

L huffed, wrapping his free arm around Light's waist. 

"You're sensitive after coming out little space, aren't you?" Light asked. 

"A little bit," L said. 

"Okay. Note to self, don't tease L after he comes out of little space," L said. 

"No, don't tease L after he comes out of little space," L parroted.

L was still pouting. Light honestly hated when L pouted. It looked so sad and pitiful, and Light would do anything to get L to stop pouting. "Okay, what can I do to make it up to you?"

"More morning snuggles and cookies for breakfast," L said immediately with a small smile. 

Little shit. 

"How about more morning snuggles and cookies after breakfast," Light said. 

"Deal."

"Good boy," Light said with a smile. L snuggled closer, still suckling on his pacifier, apparently not minding the praise this time. 

Light continued to hold L for about fifteen more minutes. He broke the relaxed silence by saying, "do you wanna take a shower now?"

L shook his head. Honestly, he did not ready to give up on the fuzziness in his brain. It was a relaxing, comforting feeling before the chaos of his high intellect took over again. He was not willing to give it up yet. Plus, Light had questions. 

"Didn't you have a couple of questions, Light?" L asked. 

"Yeah," Light said.

"What are they?" 

"Will one, how often do you usually regress?" Light asked. 

"Depends. If I had my way, I'd regress at least once or twice a week, but sometimes I go weeks without being able to. Once I went six months," L explained. 

"L," Light sighed. 

"It's not like I wanted to," L defended, looking up at Light, "I was on a case, and I had no little supplies, so he would have been upset anyway without Sakura or the pacifier or diapers." 

"You need to take care of yourself," Light said, "that includes regression."

"I thought you were taking care of me," L huffed. 

"Touche," Light said. "Does anyone else know about the regression?"

"No one alive," L said. 

Light gave him a questioning look. 

"I don't wanna talk about it," L said with a shake of the head. 

"Okay, we don't have to talk about it. I have one more question, and then we need to change your diaper if you don't wanna take a shower yet."

"What is it?" L asked. 

"Do you trust me with your little side?" Light needed to know. 

"I think so," L said, and that was stupid, he knew. He was trusting his little side with a potential mass murderer, but as long as Light was being truthful and did not hurt him, this could be a good way to make Light not want to kill him. He already knew that Light was found of his little side by the memories he was slowly remembering. He could get him to care about his little side so much that he did not want to kill him. It was not the best plan, L knew and left a lot of room to get hurt, but L was willing to risk it. 

"I guess I'll take it," Light said, then patted L's back, "c'mon, let change your butt."

"Don't say it like that," L pouted.

"Oh, c'mon," Light rolled his eyes, "don't need you to develop a rash."

L shook his head, "those hurt," he mumbled. 

"I bet," Light said, going to the safe, which had not been closed the night before, and took out a diaper. When he turned back to L, he was already on his back on the floor. His pacifier was bobbing rhythmically in his mouth, and his panda bear was held to his chest; his fingers were buried in her fur. In a word- adorable, and Light did not even try and push that thought away. There was no point in trying to deny that he thought the older man was cute. 

"Do you want to wear your normal clothes?" Light asked.

"Yes, please," L responded. 

"I got it," Light said, getting a baggy white shirt and blue jeans. 

Light made quick work of changing him, noting with relief that L's butt was back to a normal pale color. 

"Up we go," Light said, helping L stand. L took his pacifier out of his mouth and placed it in the safe for the next change. He kept Sakura in his arms. 

"What do you want for breakfast?" Light asked.

"Cookies," L smiled

"Aside from that," Light rolled his eyes. 

…

It was nearing ten P.M. when L started getting tired. Stupid Light and his nighttime routine making him tired so early. He was also very wet, so he went up to the younger man and tugged on his shirt sleeve. 

"What's up, Buddy?" Light asked. L hated to admit it, but he liked it when Light called him 'Buddy' and was even starting to like Light calling him 'good boy.' 

"I'm wet," L said, nibbling on his thumbnail. 

Light looked at the time, "it's about time to go to bed anyway, Buddy."

"I'm sleepy," L nodded. 

Light smiled. When L was "sleepy," it was easier to convince him to do things because he wanted to go to sleep. 

"Wait here a second," Light said, gently pushing him down on the chair. 

L whined, "wet and sleepy," he complained.

Light ran a hand through L's hair. He was regressed to his older kid mentality, which was better. 

"I know, and we're going to fix that soon, okay. Just stay here for a second. I'll be right back," Light assured. 

"Okay," L pouted. 

"Awe, don't pout at me," Light ruffled L's hair, causing him to smile. "Good boy."

L sat there for about fifteen minutes while Light did whatever he was doing in his room. 

"C'mon, Buddy," Light said once he walked back into the main room, "let's get ready to go to bed."

"Bedtime," L muttered under his breath. 

"Yes, it's bedtime," Light smiled. 

L stood and took Light's hand and let the man lead him to his room. 

"Lay down, Buddy," Light ordered gently. 

"Paci," L said, "paci first."

Light chuckled, "here," Light pressed his snooze button to L's lips. L accepted the pacifier then laid down, noticing that everything for a change was on the floor, including a baby blue, fuzzy sleeper. L looked at the sleeper in confusion. Light had never changed him into baby clothes before going to sleep. 

"Though it would be more comfortable," Light explained when he noticed L eyeing the sleeper. L nodded, not thinking much of it. 

"Up," Light said, and L lifted his hips.

As always, the change was quick, and soon, L was in a fresh diaper and sleeper. 

"Bed," L said as Light lifted him up onto his hip. 

"Yeah, Baby, bed," Light smiled, bouncing the little on his hip. 

Once they were on the bed, Light gathered L on his lap and started to rock. L hummed and snuggled closer to Light. He gripped Light's shirt and suckled on his pacifier harder, ready to go to sleep. 

Light then pulled his pacifier out of his mouth. L whimpered at the loss. "Mine," L whined, tears entering his eyes as Light put it on the bedside table. He wanted his pacifier back. 

"I know, Buddy," Light said in a comforting voice, "I'll give it back as soon as you drink all your baba."

"I don't want that," L said when he saw Light had his bottle filled with milk in his hand, though his first instinct was to snuggle back into Light and open his mouth. "I'm not a baby."

"I didn't say you were a baby," Light said, rubbing up and down L's back with his free hand, "I just know how much you like your baba."

"I'mma big boy. Big boys don't need bottles," L said.

"But big boys need diapers and pacifiers and stuffies?" Light asked, sounding confused.

L whined, holding onto his panda bear a little tighter. He did not like what Light was doing. He just wanted to go to sleep. 

"Okay, how about this," Light said to make it sound like a compromise, "if you don't like it, we don't have to do it again." 

L thought about that for a second before saying, "okay." L then relaxed against Light and opened his mouth for his bottle. 

"Good boy," Light praised, "such a good boy for me."

L closed his eyes and suckled on his bottle. He liked it and knew he would. The warm milk was making him feel sleepier and more relaxed. As he drank his bottle, he felt himself slipping further into little space. L did not fight it. He told Light that he trusted him with his little space, and now he wanted the man to prove it. 

When L finished his bottle, Light tugged it gently out of his mouth so that L would not swallow air. He did not want the boy to get a tummy ache. He then reached over and picked up the pacifier. 

L cracked open his eyes when he felt Light try to give him his pacifier. He accepted without a second thought. He then felt Light position them so that Light was lying on his back and L was on his side with his head pillowed on Light's chest. The baby hummed in satisfaction and snuggled closer to Light. 

"Ni-ni Wight," L muttered before going to sleep. 

Light looked down at L in shock. Had L regressed fully during the bottle feeding, or had his words been jumbled because of the pacifier. Light shook his head. Whatever the reason, he had gotten L to take his bottle and go to sleep with minimal fuss. 

That, Light counted as a win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter Misa will show up, and Light will do something nice for L. Also, Watari's going to be back next chapter too. I promise I have not forgotten about his existence. He just needed to be out of the way for a bit. 
> 
> Possible stupid question because I think I know the answer, but do you guys want to see L fully regressed again and Light playing and taking care of him before Light goes into confinement? Let me know.


	9. Roars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light gives L a gift and has some play time with baby L.

Light stretched as he finished writing criminals' names in the death note. He had to change the way that he wrote names since the… thing with L started. Because of all of his time spent with L, he had to change the times in which he wrote names, but that would be suspicious if Kira suddenly changed the time that criminals died to fit into when Light Yagami was taking care of L. So, he had to write when most of the criminals died from 5-11 the next day. Light typically spent time with L from 10-12 at night. 

That had also had to change recently because Watari was finally back from wherever he was. L texted him when Watari retired for the night. Light would show up about 30 minutes later. They had to stay in L's room so they would not be found by Watari. They had to be more cautious in general. The older man was observant and protective over L. If he found out what Light was doing to L, he was as good as dead, and he would not have to worry about a Shinigami. 

"Light, there's a package for you!" Light heard his mother from the bottom of the stairs. 

Light rushed down the stairs, trying to hide his smile. He knew exactly what was in the package. 

"Thanks, Mom," Light smiled, taking the box from his mother's hands. 

"Did you order more books?" 

"Yeah," Light lied easily, turning to walk back up the stairs, "I'm going to keep studying, Mom."

"You don't really have books in there, do you, Lighto," Ryuk laughed. 

Light gave Ryuk a pointed look that, thankfully, his mother could not see. 

"So, what's in the box?" Ryuk asked once they entered Light's room. 

"Something for L," Light said, opening the box to make sure that everything looked right. 

"Toy dinosaurs?" Ryuk asked, cocking his head. 

"Yeah, he likes dinosaurs," Light explained. He took the T-rex out of the volcano house. The plushie was about 8 inches tall and light brown in color. It was incredibly soft, and he knew that L would love it. He would also love the four (blue Triceratops, green Stegosaurus, light orange Brontosaurus, and a grey Pterodactyl). 

Light smiled. He had been waiting for about a week for the toy to arrive. Once he realized that L loved dinosaurs so much, he looked all over the internet for a toy that L would love. These were perfect. They were soft and big enough to snuggle with and play with. 

"So, you're buying L gifts now?" Ryuk asked. 

"And what if I am," Light said, putting the T-rex back in the volcano and crossing his arms. 

Ryuk laughed at the defensiveness. Light rolled his eyes and was about to say something else when he heard his mother shout up at him again. 

"Light! You have a friend at the door!"

"Ohh, a friend," Ryuk said. 

Light rolled his eyes and shouted back, "coming!" 

Light closed the box and hid it under his desk. He would whether not have someone find a child’s toys in his room. He would bring it to L after he texted him. 

…

Light was fuming after his talk with the Misa girl. She not only killed several completely innocent people to get his attention, threatened to kill other innocent people, and her Shinigami also threatened to kill him if he could not keep Misa happy (which meant that he had to go along with her “helping” him), but she also threatened to kill L. 

“No, L is mine,” Light had said. He tried not to think more about that statement. L was his to kill. That is all he meant. 

At least he had a free pair of Shinigami eyes, and she agreed to not kill anyone else without his say so, including L. 

Light took a deep breath. He could not let L know that he was mad. Not only would not make him suspicions, but it would ruin his nighttime routine with L. That could not be ruined, unless it was by his gift. 

Light smiled, forcing himself to forget all about the Misa girl for now, and began to focus his mind on L. 

…

L sat in front of his computer, impatiently waiting for Light to arrive. What was the hold up? He texted Light over an hour ago. He shifted in his chair, grumbling at the wetness. His diaper was getting uncomfortable and he was starting to itch. He was going to ask Light if he could have a shower. L tried not to think about how he had to ask permission, nor about how he really did not mind it. It was kind of nice, not needing to make all of the decisions and having someone to take care of him like this. 

He was tempted to text Light again, but he did not want to come across as too clingy or needy. So, he waited for what felt like forever, but it was just a few minutes, then there was a knocking at the door. 

“There you are, Light,” L said, trying to hide the whine. Not succeeding. 

Light rolled his eyes stepping through the doorway, “I take it you’re ready for bed?” 

L ignored the question, looking at the box in Light’s hands, “what’s in the box?” he asked, almost worried that it was something like the feminine diapers. 

“Let’s get you changed first, then I’ll show you,” Light said with a smile.

L cocked his head, now very curious about what Light could have in the box. He wanted to see, so he followed Light into his room.

They easily fell into their routine, L laid down and let Light change him while suckling on his pacifier. Light asked if he wanted to wear his adult clothes or baby clothes. 

“Baby clothes,” L answered for once, normally he chose his adult clothes to sleep in which consisted of one of his white long sleeve shirts and a diaper. 

“That’s new,” Light said, standing to pick out a sleeper. 

“I’m feeling kinda little,” L whispered, as if he did not want to admit it. 

Light smiled, running a hand through L’s hair, causing the boy to lean into his touch, “thank for telling me, Buddy. Let’s get you dressed, just relax okay.” 

“Tay,” L nodded, feeling the pleasant fuzziness starting to overtake his brain. He would not be big for much longer but that was okay. Light would take care of him. 

“Good boy,” Light smiled, helping the soon to be baby get dressed. He was already looking forward to L’s reaction to the dinosaurs, now he really wanted to see what baby L’s reaction would be. 

“Box,” L said, pointing to it when Light helped him sit up, “wanna see.” 

“I hope you like it,” Light said with a smile, handing L the box, “happy birthday,” he said, more to be sarcastic. 

L cocked his head, “Not my birthday. You don’t know my birthday.” 

“Merry Christmas, then,” Light said. 

“Three weeks away,” L said, looking even more confused. 

“Just open it, you nerd,” Light teased. 

“Notta nerd,” L pouted, but listened to Light and opened the box. 

Light was about to comment on L’s ‘notta nerd’ statement, but stopped short when L took out the volcano. “Open it.’

“More open?” L asked. 

“Yes, more open,” Light smiled, “I promise that you’ll like it.” 

L nodded, unzipping the closing to the volcano and pulling out a stuffie Pterodactyl. Light saw the moment that L slipped fully. He beamed and dumped the rest of the dinosaurs out.

“Roars!” L exclaimed, eyes bright, bouncing on his bottom in pure excitement and happiness, “Wight got woaws!” 

“Yeah, I got you some roars,” Light said, so happy that the baby liked the dinosaurs. 

L then tackled Light in a hug, squeezing the man tight to show his appreciation for the toy, “Fank ‘oo, Wight. Woves dem!” 

Light laughed, hugging the baby back, “I’m happy that you like them, Baby, but we gotta be quieter. We don’t want Watari to hear.” 

“No Wawa heaw,” L whispered, “shh.” 

“Yeah, we gotta shh,” Light said, heart nearly exploding at how L said Watari. He could not get any cuter. 

“We pway?” L asked, sleepiness all gone now that he had new toys to play with. 

“Yeah, how about we play for an hour?” Light suggested. 

“Houw ‘nd half,” L countered, laying on his tummy, play with his dinosaurs and snuggling them. He loved how soft they were.

“Hour and fifteen minutes,” Light said, knowing that L would be cranky the next day if they stayed up too long. 

“Houw ‘nd half,” L pouted at Light. 

Light raised an eyebrow, trying his best not the break at the puppy dog eyes. He could not let L know how much his big, adorable eyes affected him. L would use them even more if he knew. 

“Houw ‘nd fifteen,” L pouted harder, trying to get Light to change his mind. 

“Good,” Light said, laying down next to L, “now let’s play. You don’t wanna waste play time by pouting.” 

“Pway,” L said, “Wight pway too,” he handed Light the Brontosaurus plush.

“Sure, Baby,” Light said. 

“Woaw,” L growled quietly. 

“You’re so stinkin’ cute,” Light muttered under his breath, not meaning for L to hear him, but the baby did and smiled. 

“I knows,” L said with a giggle. 

“Just play, you nerd,” Light said, taking the Brontosaurus from L’s hand. 

“Notta newd,” L protested.

“How about a cute nerd?” Light suggested, hoping in the back of his mind that L did not remember this conversation. He would use it against him to make fun of him. 

“No newd. Jus’ cute,” L said. 

Light chuckled, “at least you know you’re cute.”

“Does,” L smiled, then decided that the conversation was over when he had his dinosaur attack Light’s. 

“Why do you always attack me?” Light asked, chuckling. 

“Woaw says nom Wight woaw,” L claimed.

“Well, your roar can go nom something else,” Light said. 

L smiled before making his dinosaur “bite” Light’s cheek with a, “nom.” 

Light gasped, holding his cheek, “Ow,” he said playfully.

L giggled, knowing that Light was just playing, but he needed to make Light’s ‘owie’ all better. So, L pulled Light’s hand away from his cheek, making his dinosaur kiss Light’s cheek with a “mwah,” then saying, “alw bettw. No mowe owie.” 

Light chuckled, “that you for making my owie all better, Baby.” 

“Welcomes,” L smiled, then his dinosaur turned his attention to Light’s dinosaur, “grrr, grrr.” 

Light had to stifle a laugh at L’s ‘threatening’ little grrs. Light made his dinosaur run away. 

“No, Wight woaw. No wun’way,” L said. 

“My roar is gonna run away if Ellie’s roar is gonna be mean,” Light said.

“Elwie woaw not be mean,” L said, “pwomise.”

“You sure?” Light asked. 

L nodded. 

L did not keep his promise. 

The hour and fifteen minutes passed way too fast for Light and L.

“Pway wittle bit mowe,” L begged, “Pwea’.” 

“It’s bedtime, L,” Light said firmly. 

“Awe,” L pouted, “I takes a woaw a bed?” 

“Sure,” Light said, “but the roar better stay quiet and go ni ni too.” 

“‘Tay,” L nodded, picking up the T-rex and his Sakura before putting the rest of the dinosaurs in their home. 

“Uppies,” L said, reaching up to Light. Light happily picked him up. 

“Do you want a baba?” Light asked, knowing what the answer would be. 

“Yeah,” L said with a nod, “wants a baba.” 

“Okay,” Light said, putting the baby on the bed, “stay here and I’ll get your baba.” 

“Fast,” L said with a smile.

“I’ll be Sonic fast,” Light told him, ruffling his hair. 

L giggled. 

“Baba,” L smiled, making grabby hands to his baba. 

“C’mere, Little Guy,” Light said, pulling the baby to him so that L’s head was resting on his chest. Light took L’s pacifier out of his mouth and gave him his bottle. 

“Ni-ni, L,” Light said after the baby was done with his bottle, helping the baby lay down and cuddling him. 

“Ni-ni,” L responded. 

About five minutes later, Light heard L make his little, “grr,” sounds while making his dinosaur bounce up his arm. 

“Tell your roar it’s ni-ni time, Ellie,” Light said, trying not to smile at L’s antics. That would only encourage him. 

“Ni-ni time woaw,” L giggled sleepily, snuggling his dinosaur to his chest and cuddling deeper into Light’s chest. 

They were both asleep in just a few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly L only calls his dinosaurs "roars" because that is what my nearly two year old cousin calls them.   
> Next chapter Light well go into confinement. Get ready for some said times, guys.


	10. Stalemate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light goes into confinement.

“Ryuzaki, may I talk to you a moment, please,” Watari asked one day. 

“Sure,” L said, hopping down from his chair, wondering what he did to get in trouble. Even though Watari did not have the ‘you are trouble’ undertone to his voice, so he might not be in trouble. Good, L thought in the back of his mind. Light put him in timeout last night because he did not want to eat his dinner and got mouthy to him. He was still a little bit pouty about it. He would not admit it to anyone else, especially not Light, but he liked it in a way. He hated the timeout, but he liked the structure that Light was providing him. It was something that he craved all of his life, but no one provided him even when he was an actual child. Not even Watari did it for long. Once L started to misbehave, Watari gave up on the structure and let him do whatever he wanted to do. There were several times in his life that Watari was “determined” to change his eating habits, but L never took him seriously because he knew that he would give up soon. Sometimes it felt like Watari was giving up on him. Light, on the other hand, provided him boundaries, rules, and structure that L loved. Even after a mouth and a half and some push back and misbehavior from L (not too much because of the photos), and he still had the structure. It amazed L in a way, but he supposed that Light just liked the control and power. 

“What is it, Watari?” L asked. 

“I have noticed you seem… happier as of late,” Watari told him with a small smile.

L shifted his weight from foot to foot subtly. He knew that he looked better and seemed happier. Even Matsuda had pointed it out and Light smirked arrogantly when someone pointed it out, and L grumbled a ‘thank you’ under his breath even if it was not necessarily a compliment. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Watari,” L lied. He did not want to have this conversation Watari, especially since he knew why he seemed “happier.” 

Watari hummed his disbelief, “you do not have to tell me, My Boy,” he said, patting L’s head, L leaned into the touch, “but please do keep it up. I want to see you happy.

That caused L’s heart to clench. Did Watari (unknowingly as it was) say that Kira was good for him. Oh, God. 

“Uh, thank you, Watari,” L said, trying to keep his voice as normal as possible, “may I go back to work.” 

“Yes,” Watari said. 

L groaned to himself once he was far enough away from Watari. In the back of his head, he knew that the structure that Light was providing him was good for him, but hearing that from his father figure was different. 

He has been wondering more and more here recently how he would convict Light when he finally got the evidence that he needed to put him away. Sure, Light gave him the structure and boundaries and rules that he had been craving all of his life, and while he was stern, he was not mean. Sure, Light gave him the opportunity to regress and have a caregiver. Something that he did not realize that he wanted until he had it. But, was it worth keeping Kira out on the streets to have these things? 

He had to admit that he did not one hundred percent agree or disagree with Kira. He does believe that there are some people in this world that are so evil and have done such heinous acts that it is better for society that they cease to be, and he was, in a way, happy that someone seemed to have the power that even he did not have to do something about it. He could also acknowledge that the global crime rates have gone down because of Kira. So, on a fundamental level, he did agree with Kira, and if it was all fundamentals, he would have never agreed to go after Kira. 

However, it was not all fundamental. There were deeper issues that L had with Kira. He hated it when Light killed the FDI agents. He understood why Light did it in a way. Light was stuck in a corner that L pushed him into and acted out as such. Still, it made Kira look like a scared little kid, not the God he was claiming to be. Light took the news as gospel, which was not okay. In Japan 99% of people arrested were convicted. This was either because all Japanese police officers were as good as he was, or because Japanese judges could be penalized by a personnel office if they rule in ways the office dislikes, therefore they have a biased incentive to convict. L could not imagine the amount of people sitting in a cell, who were wrongfully convicted, and terrified that Kira was going to kill them. L was not saying that any other justice system was any better. All justice systems are corrupt in one way or another. Light needs to learn about these justice systems and the advantages and the disadvantages of them because he seems to know that the justice system is corrupt, but not the why. Without knowing the why, he could soon become corrupt himself and not even realize it. Light is also incredibly naive. He thinks that the only way to create a “perfect world” is to kill the criminals. Getting rid of criminals was not the thing that needed to happen to create a fair world. There is systemic oppression in most societies around the world. Systemic racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism and more as examples. There are also more to crime than “the person who commits a crime is bad. There is poverty, metal health, systemic oppressions, and lack of education all linked to crime. If they could be fixed or if there were resources for these people, the crime rate would plummet. 

If Light could fix some of these things, L would 100% agree with him and would have reached out to work with him. 

What if he changed now? L asked himself. L could bring this up to Light, but there was a possibility that Light would think of it as another trick. 

L sighed and shook his head. He needed to think of the now, not what could be if this was a perfect world. He needed to focus on getting evidence that Light is Kira and putting him away. Misa Amane could be the next step in that. There was evidence that she was the second Kira. 

L was not sure what “winning” was anymore between him and Light, but he was going to catch him. 

…

In this past month and a half most everything has changed for Light. He was going to university. Kira was getting a bigger following and more supporters everyday. He had a thorn in his side named Misa, who was still adamant about making herself his girlfriend. 

One thing had remained consistent, however, the thing that he had going on with L. He was spending more and more time with L, and most nights now, he needed up regressing either to his bigger kid mentality or baby mentality. Personally, he liked L’s baby personality. He was adorable and snuggly and wanted to play all the time. Light found himself more and more wondering what he would do if he found out L’s real name. He did not want baby L to die and was becoming more fond of big L by the day. He tried to distance himself from L emotionally, but everytime he did that, it made L upset, even to the point of crying once.

That was the scary part. This thing that he had with L was getting less and less about humiliation (Light could not remember the last time that L blushed because of what Light was doing). There was still the power and control that Light liked having over L, but Light was starting to suspect that L did not mind giving up that control every once and awhile.

L was becoming increasingly dependent on Light at least at night. Light changed him, fed him, got his comfort items, snuggled him, comforted him, gave him a bottle, and put him to bed every night. 

“You’re late,” L grumbled one night with a pout. 

“Sorry, Buddy,” Light said, “I had to do homework.” AKA write in the Death Note, but L could not know about that. 

“You could do homework here,” L muttered. 

“You’re needy,” Light said, wrapping his arms around L in a much needed hug of apology. 

“You made me this way,” L said. Which might have been the truth. 

“Always blaming me,” Light teased.

“Not hard when it’s your fault,” L muttered, bad mood pliable. 

“I could leave,” Light threatened.

“No!” L exclaimed, nearly stomping his foot. He was not little, did not even feel little. It had just been a bad day, and while he knew that he should not take it out on Light he did not know any other way to get out his emotions. 

Light raised an eyebrow at L’s tone. L looked down but did not say anything else. 

“Cranky,” Light said, causing L to make a noise of protest, “I think it’s bedtime,” for once L did not protest or try and get Light to let him stay up a little longer. He was ready for this day to end. 

“Why are you so fussy tonight?” Light asked after changing his diaper and L would not stop making little noises of irritation. 

“I am not fussy,” L muttered, nibbling on his thumb. 

“Okay you’re not fussy,” Light said, “but something’s wrong.”

L looked down, not denying that. 

“C’mere,” Light said, pulling L into another hug. He needed to get L to talk to him, “tell me what’s wrong.” 

L sniffled a couple times and Light felt a wet spot grow on his shoulder. That was odd. Sure baby L cried and could be sensitive, but big L did not cry. Then, L started to ramble against his shoulder. Apparently it had just been a bad day. Aizawa yelled and said something mean that hurt his feelings, Matsuda was being an idiot more than usual, Mogi had to be sent home because he was sick, technology kept breaking, they ran out of his favorite cake, because of all the stress of the day his father snapped at him, then Light was late. Little things that on their own would not have been too bad, but all together on the same day made for a bad and stressful day. 

“It’s okay, Buddy,” Light told him, patting his back and starting to rock soothingly back and forth, “just let it out.” L whimpered and cried against Light’s shoulder for a few minutes until he felt better. 

“I’m sorry,” L sniffled when he was calm, fiddling with the front of Light’s shirt.

“It’s okay,” Light said with a smile, “everyone has bad days and sometimes you just have to cry about it.” 

“Thanks,” L said, happy that Light was not making fun of him like he feared he might. 

“You’re welcome,” Light said, “let’s get you something to eat then get you to bed.”

L nodded, letting Light help him to his feet and took his hand to follow him to the kitchen. 

…

‘Damnit Misa,’ Light cursed inside of his head, ‘fucking idiot.’ Why couldn’t he get someone at least semismart to work with? 

Light took a deep breath. This was going to work. It had to work. 

“Ryuzaki, like I said over the phone, I could be Kira,” Light said, looking down and closing his eyes. He felt his father shaking him, saying things that had no meaning to him. He looked at L, who had the face a barely concealed shock. It dropped into his neutral face and he looked Light up and down, thinking. 

“What about that FBI agent, Raye Pender. It was me he was investigating before he died, and I was in Aoyama on May 22nd. Also, I’m the first person in the Janto region that Misa approached. It’s all been me. If I were in L’s place, even I would have come to the same conclusion. Subconsciously I might be Kira. If that were the case, I could be him and not even know it.”

“No, Light,” his father said mournfully. 

“I’m not sure of anything anymore,” at least that was somewhat true. He looked into L’s eyes and saw that he did not believe him. That did not matter. He just needed to save Misa in order to not be killed. Then, things could go back to normal. Couldn’t they? Light did not want to think about what if they could not. If L found the photos, which Light had no doubt that he would, then he would have the only leverage over him taken away. 

“I’d never kill someone, but unconsciously, who knows what I’m capable of? Another me could be killing people as I sleep,” that sounded ridiculous to his own ears, and L seemed to think so as well as he finally spoke up. 

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Light almost snorted at the word “afraid.” L was not afraid of anything, aside from maybe losing Sakura,

“Huh? Not possible? What do you mean?” Light said, although he had an idea about what L was talking about. The cameras. 

“Well, I never mentioned it to you, but at one point I had hidden cameras installed in your room for five days,” L admitted. 

“Cameras,” Light gasped, making sure to sound shocked.

“Yes. every single night you slept normally,” L told him, “criminals, whose names were broadcast, were still dying, even though you would have had no way of knowing about them. But this didn’t prove your innocence to me. All it proved was that if you were Kira, no amount of camera surveillance would real that.” 

“Wouldn’t reveal that, huh?” Light said, “I… don’t know. It could be true. I have to admit, I’ve found myself thinking that some criminals deserve to die. If I can think like Kira, then how can I be sure that I’m not actually him?”

L, of course, understood the basics of what Light was doing. If they impassioned him, he would be proven innocent if criminals continued to die. He did not like that. Did not like the thought of imprisoning Light for any amount of time. He grew to like their time together, but that would be selfish to only think about himself at this moment. 

“Honestly, I don’t like the way that this is going at all, but what choice do I have?” L said, turning away from Light so that he did not have to look at him, “let’s do it. I need you to fully restrain Light Yagami and place him in solitary confinement.” 

“No! You can’t,” Mr. Yagami shouted. 

‘Trust me. This is hard on me too,’ L thought, trying not to think about that. It’s for the case. 

“If we’re gonna do this, it has to happen immediately.from this point on you can’t be allowed to go anywhere where I can’t see you.”

“This is crazy! There’s no way my son could be Kira. He’s not capable of it…”

“It’s okay, Dad,” Light interrupted, “listen. Something has to be done about this,” in more ways than one, “as long as I’m having these doubts, I can’t work with you to catch Kira. But, Ryuzaki, promise me this- until you can say with absolute certainty that I’m not Kira, you cannot set me free. No matter what I might say, or what condition I might be in. 

“You have my word,” L said, barely able to get the words out of his mouth, “Mr. Yagami, can you come up with some sort of excuse for Light’s absence, something to tell your family? And, please do it now,” so he does not have to think about this anymore and it could be down with. 

“But… this is all so sudden. What should I say? And I see no reason why he should be in prison…” 

“Let it go, Dad. If I don’t do this, I won’t be able to live with myself,” Light said, tearing his eyes from L to look at his father. 

“But, do you really mean that?” 

“Yeah. I believe that by giving up my very freedom I’ll defeat these doubts inside my head.”

“Aizawa please take him away,” Light heard L say. It must be true that being deprived of one sense enhances the others because Light could have sworn that he heard a tremor in L’s voice. 

Light felt his heart break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Choo choo motherfuckers.


	11. Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L during Light's confinement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels good to update this after the million updates on Let Me In.

"I would like through Light's laptop, Mr. Yagami," L said shortly after Light began his confinement. 

"You can't be serious," Soichrio gasped. 

"I am," L said simply, "and his phone and backpack."

"That's an invasion of privacy!" 

"Your son just admitted that he could be Kira. No matter how unconsciously he claims it to be there might be something on his laptop, phone, or backpack could hold some sort of evidence,” that was a lie, but they did not know the truth. With Light in confinement, this could be the only chance that he could have to find the phones and delete and destroy them. 

Soichiro was not happy about it, but he ended up agreeing. 

Later that night, he looked through Light's laptop and phone. Earlier, he had looked through it, but not too deep because he did not want to accidentally open up a file with the phones. It was the same way with his phone. While going through his backpack, L found two flash drives and pocketed them into his pocket. 

“C’mon, Light,” L whispered to himself, sitting at a desk. He still had a diaper on. Why? He was not too sure. Later, he would think that it was because he was too desperate to find the photos and get rid of them. He had been looking for them for thirty minutes. “You must have them somewhere.”

“Ah ha,” L smiled as he finally found the photos. He did not look at the photos, but deleted the photos. L wanted to sag in relief, but he knew that there could be more or that they could be else were. It was the same with the phone. 

About two hours later, L was confident that there was no way that the photos were anywhere else on Light’s laptop or phone. Next, he looked through the flash drives. The first only had school work like notes and essays. The other one had the photos. L put the school work flash drive back into Light’s backpack. The other flash drive, he threw against the wall to destroy it. While the action would seem violent to most people, L did not feel angry. L felt free. 

He was free to wear diapers when he wanted to, and not because Light wanted him to. He was free to go to the bathroom. He was free to go to bed when he wanted to and eat what and when he wanted to. He was free to work whenever he wanted to. 

He was free. 

L did not think about the fact that the structure and routine that he had come to rely on and love was all gone or how he would not have someone to cuddle with when he was going to sleep or waking up. He would not have someone to play with when he was little or feed him or change his diaper. He would not have someone to call him a good boy or cute boy or silly boy or smart boy. He would not have Light. 

But none on that mattered right now. He would figure all of that out. He would adapt and get through this. He was always able to do that before. He did not need Light. 

…

L soon came to realize that he was not free. He was just as bound as he was with the photos. This was a different type of bondage. He was not bound by the threat of Light leaking the photos anymore or Light himself. He was bound by his own emotions. He tried to ignore it for as long as he could. It was easy for the first couple of days. He was relieved to not have to wear diapers in front of the team anymore. That was the only thing that was still slightly embarrassing to L after two months of the arrangement. He prefers to keep his little side private and the fact that he was wearing in front of the team was not private at all. Honestly, he did not have much to complain about his and Light’s arrangement aside from that. Well, aside from the whole Light being Kira thing, but even that was starting to matter even less to L. 

It started very soon into Light’s confinement. The first thing that L notices is that chairs seem harder and uncomfortable to him because he had grown used to the extra padding.

Three days into Light’s confinement, L realized that he needed to be aware of when he needed to use the restroom. If he became too hyper focused on what work he was doing then he would forget about his bladder. That was nothing new, but what was new was his body was now used to going wherever it needed to. This might have resulted in him nearly peeing himself in front of the team. Just the thought of that happening sent a shiver down his spine and made him blush. What would be a better way to lose what little respect that the team had for him than to have an accident. 

About a week into Light’s confinement, he realized that he missed indulging in aspects of his little side throughout the day, namely Light changing his diaper. Diaper changes meant that L could suckle on his pacifier or his thumb (his thumb until Light scolded him gently and took his thumb out of his mouth and replaced it with his pacifier) and snuggle with Sakruia. They also meant that he might get to snuggle with Light for a little bit after if he could convince Light to. Plus, in the morning Light would snuggle with him and sometimes he would give him a bottle, and then there was the nighttime routine that he loved so much. The nighttime routine normally gave him the opportunity to regress into a big kid mentality, and after he regressed in front of Light for the first time, he even regressed fully some nights. There were more subtle ways that Light took care of him throughout the day. Light would bring him food and a drink every once in and while. He would ask him to take breaks a few times a day. Light would reassure him that he was doing good on the case, and even though L knew that Light was Kira, it still felt good to get praised. But, that was simply indulgence. He could survive without giving into his little side all of the time. All he had to do was give himself time to adjust. 

One thing that he could not deny, however, was that indulging in his little space and having someone take care of him in that way was stress relieving, and having it so suddenly taken away was adding to the already stressful Kira case. He was stressed before Light and L started what they did, but now that feeling was ten fold. L constantly felt on edge. He tried to ignore it and push all of the stress and anxiety down until he could not feel it anymore. It worked for a while, at least during the daytime. During the day time, he could force himself to focus on the case in a way that he could not during the night. At night, there was a part of his brain still waiting for Light to come up to the hotel room and take care of him and put him to bed. It did not matter that he knew that Light was in a cell or that he could look at Light through the one way glass wall if he wanted to. That part of him night after night got a little more hurt every time Light did not show up and take care of him. That side of him so desperately wanted someone to take care of him now that he knew how good it felt. That side of him he also attempted to shut down, even though he knew how horrible it would make him feel. 

Then came the sleepless nights. L knew that he would return to having trouble sleeping whenever Light went into confinement, and that was fine. He went days without sleeping before but, for some reason, this time was harder. Maybe it was because he was getting used to being able to sleep at night. His insomnia was not something that he chose to have. He did not choose to stay up for nearly a week before and to have hallucinations about spiders and people walking on walls until Watari had to drug him to get him to sleep. That was not a choice. That was trauma that L accepted he had long ago. Insomnia was one of the most infuriating parts of his life and the fact that some people thought that he chose to have it made him angry at times. He knew the benefits of having a good night's rest and the effect that not sleeping had on the brain. He knew that insomniacs were four times more likely to die earlier than people who slept normally. He knew that not sleeping reduced cognition. If he could help it, he would sleep through the night, but his brain did not allow him. It either showed him images that he did not want to see or raced one hundred miles an hour. This is where his little space started. He started watching cartoons and sucking on his thumb at night until he fell asleep and would dream of fluffy things and bright colors and it just went deeper from there until he had his little space as a part of his life. 

He did try to sleep, but it was so hard. He was now used to the nighttime routine and wanted it back. He wanted Light to change him and cuddle with him and feed him and give him a bottle while rocking him and humming his lullaby. Light helped keep the monsters away so that he could sleep, but he could not have Light do that right now. Light might not ever want to do that with him ever again after he was out of confinement and realized that the photos were destroyed. So, L tried to follow the routine and he did, but he could not relax. There was not much point in a nighttime routine if he could not let himself relax into it. The fact that he could not get it right frustrated L even more. It made him feel like a failure and made it that much harder to sleep. So, L stopped trying to go to bed every night. By time week three of Light confinement rolled around, L was back to pushing himself until he passed out. The difference was that he did not pass out after two three days, he passed out after four or even five days. This only added to the stress. He just wanted to sleep. 

Not to mention, he was not allowing himself to be little. He knew that his little side would be so upset if he slipped and Light was not around. So, he shoved that side of himself down just like his emotions. It was not good and L knew that it simply added to the nearing crippling stress that he was feeling. 

This stress had another negative affect on him. He started to wet in his sleep. It was not the first time that it happened. When he was first brought to Wammy’s House, he wet the bed on and off for years until it finally stopped when he was ten. Now, it still happened when he was under extreme stress and Watari knew that and was never upset when he did it even though L was always embarrassed. 

After the fourth time that Watari shook him awake and handed him a new pair of clothes in silence, L decided that he would wear a diaper when he knew that he was going to fall asleep. He did not want to see Watari’s worried eyes or have any questions from the older man that was about to start. Watari would demand that he took a break from the case, and L could not do that. Not right now, not when Light was in confinement. He could not do it. He could not take a break. He could not be little. He needed to work. He needed all of this to be over. 

He needed this to stop. 

…

L could not take it anymore. Nearly six weeks into Light’s confinement and he could not take it. He could not take the stress anymore. He could not take pushing down all of the negative emotions. He could not take the inability to sleep. He could not take the constant exhaustion. He could not take not being little. He needed to be little. He wanted to be a baby. He wanted his pacifier and diaper. He needed his Sakura and blankie. He wanted to watch cartoons and play. He needed to sleep! He wanted…

Tears started to stream down his face. 

No! He could not think about this. He could not cry. He could not be little. 

Scolding himself only made L more upset. Why couldn’t he cry? Everything was too much and too stressful. He NEEDED to be little. He needed…

L felt himself slowly start to slip. He whimpered and stuffed his thumb in his mouth. He ran to his room, not thinking about locking the door and so thankful that the Task Force was not there. He did not know where Watari was but he did not care. He was sad! He just wanted to be a baby. 

Through blurry vision, L reached for his Sakura, blankie, and pacifier. He put his pacifier in his mouth. He snuggled with his Sakura and blankie tightly to his chest. He wanted to get a diaper on, but he was too upset. L slipped fully with a loud sob. 

There was suddenly only one thing on L’s mind. He wanted Light. He wanted Light to come into the room and snuggle him and help him calm down. He wanted Light to put him in a diaper and feed him a baba. He wanted Light to rock him to sleep while humming his lullaby. 

He wanted Light.

He could not have Light, and that thought made him sob harder. It was not fair. None of this was fair. 

“Wight,” L sobbed out loud to the empty room, “wants Wight.” 

Unfortunately, Light could not hear him and no one came for him. L never felt so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I like to torture my favorite character? One would think I would not do this to poor L
> 
> Next chapter, confinement from Light's perspective. Light may or may not be a little shit. Then, Light gets out of confinement and sees how hard all of this was on L.


	12. Let Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of Light's confinement and when Light gets out, he realizes that he needs to take care of L.

Light wanted to be angry at L. He had been in confinement according to Aizawa for thirty days. Surely in those thirty days Ryuk found someone to give the Death Note to. He hated the thought of someone using his Death Note, but he needed to do it. He, unfortunately, needed to save Misa so that Rem did not kill him. He was not going to be an idiot like Misa and give up his memories. He had so much to lose if he gave up his memories. 

Light knew that there had to be more “Kira” killings. He knew that L was lying to him when he said that there were no other murders. That probably pissed him off the most. L was lying to him to keep him in confinement. Though, he supposed, that if it was the other way around, Light would do something very similar. L knew that he was Kira and L was never wrong. So, of course, he would want to keep Light in confinement for as long as possible to try and break him. All L needed was one shred of evidence and Light was done for. That was a terrifying thought. 

An even more terrifying thought was that he could not bring himself to be angry at L. He wanted to be angry at L. Every time he managed to get angry at L, however, he remembered little L or their nighttime routine. He remembered cuddling L and feeding him a bottle. He remembered taking care of L. And, Light supposed, that is what the thing between them had become- Light truly taking care of L. He wanted, with all his heart, to take care of him again, Light realized. 

Light, however, was not one to be ruled by his heart. The heart was a weakness and Light could not afford weakness. He needed to listen to his brain. His brain told him that there was no other way to become God. No matter how much it would hurt. He needed to make sacrifices. 

But, God should not have to make sacrifices. Light should be able to win without getting rid of L. There was only one way for that to happen, and he had thought about it before. L would have to join him. It still seemed impossible. Once he got out of confinement he had no idea how L would react if he tried to start what they did back up. There was no doubt in his mind that L would have found the photos and destroyed them. He had them on his laptop, phone, flash drive, and some printed off in his Death Note drawer. The ones in his drawer at home were probably the safest, and Light took solace in that. He could easily blackmail L again to get him to let Light take care of him. 

That thought made him wonder if he wanted to blackmail L again. If he was being honest with himself, the answer was no. He wanted L to let him take care of him consensually. Blackmail, unfortunately, was not consent. 

So, Light did not want to kill L even if he had to, and he wanted L to join him even if he did not know how to pull that off. He also wanted to take care of L but did not want to blackmail him anymore. 

Light groaned as he let his head fall back on the white wall. He did not care about the small amount of pain in the back of his head.

A few seconds later, Light heard, "are you okay, Light?" It was Matsuda's voice. 

"I'm fine," Light muttered, probably not sounding too convincing. "Can I speak to L?" L had not spoken to him in weeks. He was starting to miss his voice. He missed L, and he was finally allowing himself to admit it. He just wanted to hear L’s voice. 

After a few seconds, Light heard, "Ryuzaki's out right now."

Light noticed the tremor in Matsuda's voice. He was lying. 

”That's a lie. Ryuzaki never goes out," Light said.

There was another pause. Matsuda was talking to Ryuzaki. Light knew that. 

“Sorry, Light, he is busy right now,” Matsuda told him. 

‘Right, busy,’ Light thought to himself, “yeah, I understand.” 

And, in a way, he did. 

…

Light was going to kill L. How dare he do that to him? After fifty days in confinement and after fifty days of lying to him, L decides that he would have his father mock execute him. Light had been terrified. He did not have the Death Note or Ryuk. All he had was a memory-less Misa, and she was useless with her memories anyway. He thought that he was going to die and there was nothing that he could do about it. He supposed that he should be relieved that it was just a test, but he was not. He was embarrassed that he let L get under his skin like that. He was embarrassed that L made him weak. 

And L truly did make him weak because the second that Light saw him, he could not be angry at him. L looked horrible. The dark bags under his eyes, that were starting to fade because of their nighttime routine, were back. They were worse than when they first met. How long had it been since he last slept? The hunch in his back was worse, making him look shorter. He looked nearly Misa’s height. He looked so small… and sad. There was no life in his eyes that Light had come to love. He was so pale that he looked sick. Was he sick? Light hoped not. 

The confinement had been hard on Light with little to nothing to stimulate his mind for fifty days, but it was now obvious that it had not been easy for L either. And Light did that to him, he realized. He was the one that said to keep him in confinement until L believed that he was not Kira anymore. Of course he pushed himself to the edge (and possibly over the edge). He needed to fix it and Light knew just how to. There was no doubt in his mind that L needed to be little and Light wanted to take care of him. 

God, Light wanted to take care of him. 

Light was so caught up in his thoughts that he barely registered the cold metal of the handcuff being snapped on his wrist. 

‘Act natural,’ Light thought to himself. 

“Ryuzaki, is this really necessary?” Light asked, lifting his left hand. 

“This is as difficult for me as it is for you,” L claimed though Light had suspicion that it was not. 

“So, is this what you meant by being together 24 hours a day with him? Looking at you, I never would have guessed. Are you on that side of the fence, Ryuzaki?” Misa asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, obviously trying to get a rise out of L. 

L, as calm as ever (Light wondered how they did it half of the time), said “I told you I’m not doing this because I want to. Okay?” 

“But Light belongs to me,” Light had to suppress rolling his eyes. He did not belong to anyone aside from maybe… he looked at L who was looking at Misa with a face of annoyance and boredom. “I don’t wanna share him with you. If you’re with him 24/7, then how are we supposed to go on dates together?”

“Uh, you can still go on dates, but it will have to be the three of us,” L explained.

“No way! Are you telling me we have to kiss in front of you and stuff?” 

“I’m not telling you to do anything,” L said, turning his head away from Misa, telling her non-verbally that he did not want to continue the conversation. 

Unfortunately, Light thought, Misa was too stupid to notice or simply did not care, “that’s just gross. You really are a pervert, aren’t you?” 

L sighed deeply and looked at Light, “Light, please, make Misa stop talking now.” 

Light, honestly surprised that L was turning to him to help him and wanting to encourage that (and wanting to make Misa shut up as well), said, “Listen, Misa, that’s enough,” he used the same voice that he used on L the couple of times he decided to act up. She did act like a child but not in the cute and endearing way that L did. She was more like a spoiled brat. “The police have already established that it was you who sent those tapes,” Misa looked at him with a shocked expression, “so, you’re lucky to even be here right now. They have every right to keep you in prison.” Thankfully, Misa seemed to be properly scolded and did not say anything else though she did pout. 

L and Light made eye contact for a second before L dropped it. 

…

It was nearing midnight in the new tower and everyone else had gone to sleep. Light decided that he would try and make L go to sleep too. It was way past his bedtime. 

“Hey, Buddy,” Light said, deciding to approach L how he did every night before confinement. He would pretend that confinement never happened, “I think it’s time to go to bed.” 

L immediately felt himself relax at the familiar tone of voice. He wanted to listen. God, did he want to listen. He wanted to shut off his computer and let Light take care of him. He wanted it so bad. He wanted the structure back. He needed the structure back. He wanted to go night night. 

But, could he do it? Could he allow Light to have that control over him again? Light did not have any control over him anymore. L could say no and Light had nothing to hold over his head. 

“Don’t do that,” L whispered, not able to say it any louder because it was a lie. In a way, he wanted Light to push just a little bit more. He wanted Light to convince him to listen. He wanted Light to promise that he would not go away again. He could not handle it if they started that and Light went away again. 

Light noticed how L’s shoulders relaxed when he said it was time to go to bed. He wanted to listen. He just needed a little push. 

“It’s bedtime, Buddy,” Light said in a firm but gentle tone. He stepped a little closer to L, “please turn off your computer.”

“I deleted the photos,” L told him, voice wavering. He wanted to listen. 

“I know you did,” Light said, placing his hand on L’s shoulder, “I guess it’s your choice.” 

L swallowed thickly. He looked up at Light’s face. It looked so comforting and nice. L felt tears enter his eyes. He wanted Light so bad, but he was not sure if he could have him anymore. Could let himself have Light?

“Hey, don’t cry, Buddy,” Light whispered, rubbing L’s back, feeling tremors in L’s back. L was trying to hold in his emotions, and he had probably been trying to for far too long. “Just turn off your computer. I wanna take care of you.” 

L simply nodded, tears escaping his eyes. He reached over and shut off his computer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, L is literally exhausted and needs Light to take care of him. Thankfully Light does not mind at all. AKA get ready for some really, really cute and clingy baby L.


End file.
